Here are the very best Florida Man headlines from 2020 so far
Ah the Florida man, this many faced man has been an internet darling for years. Making people around the world question, what is Florida even? The answer is even those in the US don’t even know what to make of Florida. Just because it’s 2020 and everyone who can is quarantining to stop the spread of COVID-19, doesn’t mean that there aren’t more weird Florida headlines to check out.
It’s time to see how the Florida man kicked off the decade and how he is dealing with quarantine with these true headlines from 2020.
1. The First ‘Florida Man’ Story of 2020 is Here
How did the Florida Man kick off 2020? Well on Jan. 2, a Florida Man in Panama City crashed his car into a bar so he could steal a Dr. Pepper. That’s where police found him, sitting and drinking his Dr. Pepper. He also had a gun on him, which made the charge into an armed burglary.
2. Welcome Mat At Florida Home Seeks Warrant And Deputies Obliged
You know those joke welcome mats that say “come back with a warrant”? Yeah, if you’re going to get investigated by the police, they may take you seriously. They may also find you drugs.
3. Florida Judge Begs Lawyers: Get Dressed For Zoom Hearings
Everyone who doesn’t work from home on the regular is trying to get used to the new normal. There are, of course, some hiccups. Though no one thought that lawyers would be reprimanded for not dressing for Zoom court hearings. Yet, here we are because Florida.
4. Florida Man Arrested Twice In 2 Days For Impersonating Police Officer
The funniest part about this story is that there was just no cool down time for this guy. Like seriously? Twice in two days? Like even a criminal with a modicum of competence would just take a minute, you know?
5. Florida Cold Spell Leads To Falling Iguana Alert
Florida is the Australia of America. Everything in that state will probably kill you and then you get weird weather alerts about animals.
6. St. Pete man donned blonde wig to commit burglary. It didn’t work, deputies say.
Not to dole out the criminal advice here, but there is a good thought process. It’s just that a wig won’t hide your face that much. That’s why face masks have always been criminal chic.
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