Gothtober villains: Where to stream the biggest bads in movie history
Duuuuuh-dun . . . duuuuuh-dun . . . duuh-dun, duuh-dun, duuh-dun, duuh-dun . . .
You know the rest. You might not believe this, but it’s been 44 years since Steven Spielberg’s Jaws emerged from the icy ocean depths and onto our big screens, terrifying audiences and marking the birth of one of the most iconic horror movie franchises of all time.
Jaws’s pop culture teeth were so razor sharp that people are still scared to go back into the water to this day. Y’all know how the story goes: a local sheriff, a marine biologist, and an old seafarer (the start of any good joke) team up to hunt down a great white shark wreaking havoc at a beach resort.
To mark Jaws’s anniversary, which was released June 20th, 1975, we’re here to look at some of cinema’s biggest, baddest mega-villains, the movies they star in, and where to stream them.
General Spider: Arachnophobia
We were terrified of spiders all by ourselves thank you very much, but nevertheless Frank Marshall (Signs) went ahead and made Arachnophobia anyway and we’re glad he did because it turned out to be one of the greatest horror comedies of all time. It also gave birth to one of the biggest bads of the movie world – General Spider, an eight-legged freak so big, you’d have a hard time finding a glass big enough to trap that fucker under.
Male Crocodile: Lake Placid
Because it wasn’t enough to have Jaws terrify you out of the ocean, director Steve Miner (Warlock) released this bundle of horror-comedy joy about a giant crocodile that stalks the freshwaters of Maine’s Black Lake. So yeah, the safest kinda swimming is no swimming at all, according to the movie world.
Court Orlok: Nosferatu
We had to sneak in a vampiric creature of the night and what creepier villain than Max Schreck’s Count Orlok? Bald to the bone and in serious need of a trip to the dentist, Orlok is the ultimate bloodsucking trendsetter and to this day remains one of the last people you’d want to see at the foot of your bed.
Michael Myers: Halloween
He’s always there, he’s stab happy, and he never dies. ‘Nuff said.
Freddy Krueger: A Nightmare on Elm Street
If there’s one thing the dream stalker is, it’s reliable. For eight movies spanning over two decades, Krueger has carried out some of the most outrageous killings in horror movie history, throwing out hundreds of naff one-liners while he’s at it. One, two, Freddy’s after you . . .
The Xenomorph: Alien
Ridley Scott’s (The Martian) iconic sci-fi horror gave birth to an extraterrestrial monster species as horrifying as that notorious chestburster scene. As such, those xenomorphs are some of the worst movie villains ever – they’re gruesome, hard to detect, and they kill their victims in the most violent of manners.
Hannibal Lecter: The Silence of the Lambs
He’ll eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti and you’ll let him because let’s face it – he’s one sexy, sadistic mother fucker.
Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He’s huge, curiously effeminate, and mentally underdeveloped, and he has a penchant for taxidermy and flesh-skin masks. He’s also the last person on earth you’d want to join for a dinner party.
We’re handing this one to Tim Curry (The Rocky Horror Picture Show) for his depiction of Pennywise the clown in the original movie adaptation of Stephen King’s It. To this day, we still lock the doors every time the carnival comes to town.
Creature from the Black Lagoon: Creature from the Black Lagoon
While Jaws made us want to jump out of the water, the creature from the Black Lagoon made us want to jump back in, if only to catch a glimpse at the gills of this gender ambiguous creature. We’re not afraid to admit it – that’s one sexy monster we’d definitely love to screw.