Knock knock: Keep it safe for work with these clean-as-a-whistle jokes
As cited by every normie dating profile across the internet, humans “love to laugh”. During the sh*tstorm of 2020, (and, many would argue, the years leading up to it), a good laugh has never been more valuable. However, humor is, of course, subjective and more often than not we’ll be laughing in a room full of confused head-scratchers, or dead silent at a dinner table full of cackling hyenas.
Of course, we’re referring to a time in the old world where people were more frequently forced into rooms with others of different value sets & senses of humor – the water cooler has always been a dangerous venue to try out a new joke.
However, despite the great distance much of the world has felt between others over the past year or so, causing many of us to be downright rusty at social interaction, good jokes will always stand the test of time. If you’re like so many across the globe whose joke-telling stats have dropped significantly since March 2020, we’ve got some help for you: clean jokes anyone can enjoy.
Edge lords needn’t look on from here – we’ve compiled some of the best clean jokes on the web which can yield a chuckle across the board of audiences, from the raunchiest shock jocks to the most timid prudes. Check out some of the best SFW jokes we could find on the web.
Millennials remember a time when frozen treats would come right from the ice cream man, and not via DoorDash after a viral new bubble cone covered in lavender syrup sweeped Instagram.
Popsicles used to reveal the best clean jokes after we finished our sweet treats, and the format still hits. Halloween people no doubt remember some of the classics from spooky season: “What do you call two witches living together? Broommates”.
However, Fatherly listed some of the web’s greatest clean jokes in one-line popsicle stick format for anyone in need of clean jokes.
- When does a joke become a “dad” joke? When the punchline is apparent.
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
- Why should you never trust stairs? They are always up to something.
- Did you hear about the cheese factory exploding in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.
Clean jokes have no better place than in the confines of the office; at work, we’re forced to be in close quarters with people of all walks of life, and all types of senses of humor.
It’s best to play it safe in the workplace with jokes; what’s funny to you might earn you a visit from HR if you tell the wrong person. Small Business Trends lists some of the best jokes to tell around the water cooler (or digital chat board) which can give anyone a SFW chuckle.
- Teamwork is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
- There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on the food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.
- I get plenty of exercise — jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
- Nothing ruins a Friday more than understanding today is Tuesday.
Finally, some of the best clean jokes on the web simply put fun into the world around us; there’s a wealth of clean jokes about the weather, the Earth, and the atmosphere to help bring out the science class nerd in all of us. We gathered some of the best clean geo jokes from Parade below.
- What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved.
- What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderpants.
- Two windmills are standing on a wind farm. One asks, ‘What’s your favorite kind of music?’ The other replies, ‘I’m a big metal fan.’
- Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere.
- The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely, it’s not going to rain today?” And she replied, “Yes it is, and don’t call me Shirley.” That was when I realized I’d left my phone on Airplane mode.