‘Shadowhunters’: The Real Housewives of Idris Pt.3
It’s the end of the week, folks, which in the Film Daily offices means that it’s time for another dose of our Shadowhunters alternate universe, The Real Housewives of Idris.
In case you missed it, last week at Thanksgiving dinner Izzy (Emeraude Tobia) & Luke (Isaiah Mustafa) announced that they’re going to be parents & chaos ensues. Completely scandalized by Isabelle’s announcement, Clary (Katherine McNamara) & Maryse (Nicola Correia-Damude) move forward with their plan to corrupt Luke. They set up cameras in the bathroom at Taki’s & plan out exactly what Maryse needs to do.
Meanwhile, Jace (Dominic Sherwood) & Simon (Alberto Rosende) show up at the Clave’s offices requesting help with Jace’s unknown illness. Inquisitor Lightwood obliges and accompanies them to Magnus Bane’s (Harry Shum Jr.) house.
When they get there, Magnus & Valentine are engaged in a very public magical domestic dispute. Valentine (Alan van Sprang) was texting his estranged daughter, Clary, behind Magnus’s back, and Magnus isn’t having it. What did Magnus expect? Valentine is evil after all. To get the full recap of what happened last week, click here.
So grab some popcorn as we portal back to Idris to check on our loony Shadowhunters & Downworlders in this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Idris.
Screwing the family one heist at a time
Maryse Lightwood & Clary Fairchild are crammed into the back of a black SUV in the back alley behind Clave headquarters watching surveillance footage from the men’s restroom at Taki’s. Clary squeals with delight as she claps her hands together, celebrating Maryse’s successful seduction of Luke Garroway.
Maryse tells Clary that it was no big deal as they watch the footage of Maryse quite literally pushing Luke against the wall. Clearly blindsided, Luke appears startled & flustered at first, but after only just a few short moments the mood in the restroom quickly shifts to one of passion.
Has Luke been harboring secret feelings for Maryse all this time? With the way he’s shifting their position and pressing her into the wall, that would certainly appear to be the case. Although the video has no sound, it is quite clear from the way they are embracing, and the fervor of their kisses, that the two are enjoying the moment. A lot.
Clary praises Maryse for her supreme acting abilities, sharing that she didn’t think Luke would succumb so easily. Clary begins to discuss a plan to deliver the video to Isabelle, but Maryse sits there quietly in her thoughts, listening to her daughter-in-law-to-be ramble on.
Maryse folds her hands in her lap, ignoring the kaleidoscope of butterflies occupying her stomach. She wasn’t supposed to enjoy it so much; Luke’s a werewolf after all. The whole point of this entire exercise was to break up Luke & Izzy because of the shame their relationship brings to the Lightwood family and the Clave.
Maryse silently scolds herself for the lustful feelings flowing through her veins & reminds herself to stay on mission. However, she can’t shake the feeling of his hands on her hips, and his hard, muscled body pressed against hers as his musky scent fills the space around them. Se can’t remember the last time another person made her feel such things.
What a pickle Maryse finds herself in. Maryse Lightwood, married to Robert Lightwood (Paulino Nunes), lusting after her pregnant daughter’s true love. Who is the one bringing shame to the family name now, Maryse?
Empty intentions and other selfish indulgences
Meanwhile, tensions are mounting at the residence of Magnus Bane. Disgusted by all the vomit on his beautiful new shoes, Magnus tells Simon & Jace to get off his front lawn. As he removes the soiled shoes, he throws them onto Valentine’s mountain of clothing to his left, who, by the way, stormed off the second the magical fiasco with Magnus came to a halt.
Simon begs the warlock to help Jace, but Magnus simply snorts and rolls his eyes. Helping isn’t exactly his forte since he had embraced the darkness within him. Magnus tells the couple that Jace is clearly infected by demonic flu that Shadowhunters can’t contract naturally on their own.
Clearly, someone, or something, is targeting Jace and making him sick on purpose. What on earth could Jace have done to attract the attention of the demon world? Due to his completely crappy Shadowhunting skills, he deliberately stays the hell away from demons and other unseemly creatures. Why does misfortune always seem to fall in Jace’s lap?
Simon begs Magnus for more information, but Magnus waves him off and tells him to go away. The warlock suggests that the pair travel to New York and pay Lorenzo Rey (Javier Munoz) a visit, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, who actually is in the business of helping others.
Simon, frustrated and overly concerned about his lover, lashes out at Inquisitor Lightwood (Matthew Daddario), who has been silently standing off to the side, his eyes fixed on Magnus Bane. Simon yells at the Inquisitor, demanding to know what the point of coming here was if Magnus had no intention of helping them. The Inquisitor ignores Simon’s outburst and keeps his eyes fixed on the warlock in front of him.
Magnus, desperately wanting Simon & Jace gone, opens a portal and shoves the pair through to New York. He turns his attention to Alec, who takes a suggestive, tentative step toward the warlock. Alec’s lips curl upwards ever so slightly as his eyes dance over Magnus’s body.
Magnus simply nods at the Inquisitor and turns, walking up the path and into the house. Alec follows without hesitation.
New York, New York
Jace & Simon spill out of the portal into the middle of Lorenzo Rey’s living room in Brooklyn, New York. Jace, terrible at portaling at the best of times, lands with a thud on the floor, spewing his demonic purple goo all over the plush white carpet.
The pair’s arrival startles Lorenzo, who jumps up off the sofa and rushes over to assist. Unlike Magnus, Lorenzo’s face is full of concern as he fusses over the disgustingly ill Shadowhunter. He snaps his fingers, bagging the vile mess Jace made on the floor and helps the Shadowhunter up onto the couch.
Simon exhales, clearly relieved that someone finally cares enough to help. Lorenzo pats Simon on the shoulder and assures him that they’ve come to the right place. Lorenzo uses his warlock magic to trace the demonic energy attached to the goo and quickly locates the owner.
Lorenzo tells the pair that Jace is being corrupted by a werewolf pup who seems to be unable to control their power. The ominous look that washes over Lorenzo’s face makes Simon pause. As if things could get much worse!
Lorenzo informs them that curing Jace might be more complicated than he first thought. The young werewolf making Jace sick, Maia Roberts (Alisha Wainwright), seems to have conjured a demonic illness using warlock magic. Lorenzo, completely perplexed, scratches his head. Werewolves can’t use warlock magic; never in his very long life has Lorenzo ever seen such a thing.
The warlock opens a portal to the Jade Wolf, the restaurant where the young werewolf seems to be hiding. At the sight of another portal, Jace pukes all over himself yet again. Simon sighs loudly, wishing for this nightmare to end, and Lorenzo pulls the pair through the portal.
By the Angel, who is Maia and how is she using warlock magic? Maybe she’s not a werewolf at all? What in heavenly fire did Jace do to attract her attention? What do you think Magnus and Alec are doing inside that evil house? Where is Valentine? Is he in there too?
Finally, can we talk about Luke & Maryse for a moment? Maryse is Izzy’s mother. What kind of person would she be if she stole her pregnant daughter’s baby daddy? That wasn’t part of the plan; she was supposed to just divide and destroy. It’s not like she was winning Mother-Of-The-Year anyway…
When Clary finds out about Maryse & Luke, she is going to lose her mind.
Tune in next week for your weekly dose of The Real Housewives of Idris.