What if we replaced the ‘Star Wars’ old boys with badass women?
Solo: A Star Wars Story painted a picture from a bygone era we thought had been dropped long ago. Kelly Marie Tran – the first woman of color to play a lead role in the iconic series – quit Instagram, with many citing the reason being because of relentless bullying by the toxic Star Wars fandom.
The Last Jedi actress was victim to relentless intimidation on the social media platform, facing months of harassment from those who took issue with her performance as Rose Tico in the eighth installment of the fantasy saga. Although it’s not confirmed this is definitely why she left, Tran made it clear in the past she’s not a fan of social media and with some of the messages left for her on the official Star Wars Instagram account, you can start to understand her apprehension.According to Polygon, “Another group of racist trolls targeted Tran’s Wookieepedia page, changing her name to ‘Ching Chong Wing Tong’ and describing her as ‘stupid, autistic and retarded.’” With such messages circulating online, it’s hard to believe we’re in the year 2018. Then again, certain sectors of the Star Wars fandom aren’t particularly renowned for being progressive.
While we could easily write an entire essay that would outwit the suckers who’ve been posting such vitriol to Tran (not that it would be difficult), instead we’re going to turn this Millennium Falcon around to reimagine what the Star Wars films could look like if they were led by strong and talented actors like Tran. This one’s for all the Star Wars manbabies out there – here’s what the films would look like if the old boys were replaced with the badass boss bitches of today.
Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill)
Replaced by: Lupita Nyong’o
See ya, Hamill! We’re jonesing for a female Luke and we’re jonesing for the role to be filled by none other than our own earthly Goddess Lupita Nyong’o. Yes, she may’ve played the supporting character Maz Kanata in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, but that’s not enough. Proving her acting chops in 12 Years a Slave and royal credentials in Black Panther, we think Nyong’o should be front and center with a lightsaber in hand.
Han Solo (Harrison Ford)
Replaced by: Letitia Wright
And who should be beside Nyong’o in our reimagined version of Star Wars? Letitia Wright, of course! Smuggler, scoundrel, hero, and bestie to the Wookiee co-pilot Chewbacca, we have the utmost faith Wright would bring the same sharp wit and intelligence as Black Panther’s Shuri to the role of Han Solo.
Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness)
Replaced by: Gina Rodriguez
A legendary Jedi leader, the gifted and noble master of the Force holds a lot of the same qualities as Rodriguez’s titular character in Jane the Virgin as well as the actress IRL. She’s smart, stunning, skilled, and would make a totally laid-back (yet effortlessly powerful) Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Darth Vader (David Prowse)
Replaced by: Saoirse Ronan
An unusual choice we know, but hear us out. Ronan’s moment is now, thanks in part to the fact she absolutely kills it in every role she fulfills, whether that be as a precocious teenager in Atonement, a pastry chef in The Grand Budapest Hotel, or a unique and ambitious student in Lady Bird. We’d absolutely love to see her take this talent and utilize it as the space opera’s pivotal villain. She’s also got a propensity for nailing accents, so we’ve got confidence she’d deliver that line with even more conviction than Prowse.
C3PO (Anthony Daniels)
Replaced by: Tessa Thompson
We know C3PO sort of was already replaced with Fleabag’s endlessly funny Phoebe Waller-Bridge in Solo: A Star Wars Story. But how about Tessa Thompson (Thor: Ragnarok) used her Valkyrie fierceness to transform the humanoid robot character from a bumbling fool into a powerful android we’d definitely love to bone? The only question is: can Tessa really pull off an upper-crust British accent (her brief imitation of Anthony Hopkins notwithstanding)?
R2D2 (Kenny Baker)
Replaced by: Alia Shawkat
And please, please, please could we have Alia Shawkat as a deliciously cute R2D2 whose love for C3PO is totally reciprocated? That’s one romantical storyline that would not go amiss in the Star Wars series. Shawkat’s already proven her comedy chops in Arrested Development, Search Party, and Broad City, so we’re certain she’d bring some of her trademark wit to the role.
Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew)
Replaced by: Greta Gerwig
No offence, Gerwig – you’ve got one damn fine face. But who wouldn’t want to see the comedic genius and talented actor / writer / director as the furry Wookiee warrior alongside Wright’s Solo? You know it makes sense.
Yoda (Frank Oz)
Replaced by: Kristen Stewart
This is by no means an insult to Kristen Stewart’s look and sweet Lord Kristen, if you’re reading this – we would give our right arm just to spend one night with the sexually ambiguous gorgeousness of thee. However, we do think the Personal Shopper star would make the perfect Jedi Master due to her endless wisdom she could deliver to the female characters to help them on their journeys of intergalactic badassery.