Stop people from stealing your Wifi with laughter: Pick these funny names
Can you imagine your life without a Wifi connection? We can’t. After all, how else are we supposed to enjoy our binge-watching sessions or laugh off into the night with a Netflix stand-up special, or, you know, do all the work? With remote work becoming popular, Wifis have become a household essential.
Now, identifying your Wifi connection from the plethora of connections available in your vicinity shouldn’t be a task, which is why we have names for our connections. We cannot keep going with 5G 1, 5G 2 . . . after all. While naming your Wifi connection isn’t as big a deal as naming your child, it’s still a big step. In fact, funny names for your Wifi can add zing to your bland worklife. Keep in mind that, for security’s sake, you shouldn’t include your full name in your Wifi name; for instance, never call it Daisy Adkins‘ Wifi, even if you think making your ownership clear may help.
Having a funny name for your Wifi can also keep the leeches at bay. Your neighbors who keep trying to hack into your Wifi & suck all the data like a parasite need to be stopped, but confronting them over this issue might seem too much hassle. Take our advice & talk to them through your connection name.
Drop It Like Its Hotspot
We bet your Wifi setup is hot because you forget to switch it off. When there is no calming period to cool off, it’s bound to be hot. Why not communicate the heat of the matter — pun intended — to your wifi leeches?
To add to the fun, play with the frustration of running into an erratic hotspot connection. Name your connection Drop It Like Its Hotspot.
Keep It On The Download
One of the most efficient ways of ensuring privacy is keeping it on the down-low. You want to be able to stroll without being chased by paparazzi? Keep your success on the down low. You don’t want the kids to get jealous of your great essay? Keep it on the down low. You don’t want the neighbours to steal your wifi? Keep it on the down low.
Panic At The Cisco
How can you instill absolute terror in the mind of anyone who’d dare to steal your wifi? One way is to rub their face into the consequences. Panic at the Cisco should do the trick. After all, who doesn’t appreciate a well-made pun? Your neighbour might just let you be if you borrow from the pop band.
Silence of the LANs
Call us a pop-culture reference-thrower, or compare us to Gilmore Girls, but they don’t make psychological thrillers like Silence of the Lambs anymore.
Winternet is Coming
Nothing works like a good old, passive-aggressive warning for the parasite. The Game of Thrones fandom will bow out, out of sheer respect.
Free Public Wifi
What’s better than confronting your enemy? Confusing them. Let your freeloader neighbor walk into the trap, name your wifi “Free Public Wifi”, and then sit back with a bucket of popcorn to watch the frustrating journey their heart undertakes.
Same argument. Keep them waiting. It’s terrible dating advice, but a 10/10 ghosting tactic.
This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
Ain’t no warning like a Taylor Swift warning. Over the years, Taylor has shown us she can be the warmest person in the room, or the most devilish, depending on who’s asking. Be like that for the wifi thieves.
Get Off my LAN
In all fairness, shooing stingy neighbors off your Wifi is just the modern-day version of a grumpy uncle telling the kids to get off his lawn.
Say it like it is. Not your bills, not your setup, not your Wifi. Then add a pun to the mix. A foodie pun is always appreciated & you get to make the parasitic neighbor hungry on top of everything else.
Dare to think different
Don’t let the 26 characters of the alphabet limit you, especially not in the age of emojis. Go beyond numbers & alphabets. How about a ¯\(ツ)/¯ or a ಠ_ಠ to keep predators at a safe distance?