Cruising gone wrong: Cringe at these totally embarrassing gay sex stories

From the good to the bad to the downright strange, people have been seeking casual sexual encounters since the dawn of time. Many a time, people have unabashedly sought the comfort of another when in need of an itch to be scratched, and gay men are certainly no exception.

Gay sex stories emerge when these encounters take unexpected turns. Luckily, the men involved usually want to share their experiences on Reddit. Let’s take a look at just how weird these stories can get!

Just plain weird

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. But – what happens when those words are terribly misinterpreted? The result is, apparently, wild gay sex stories involving attempted bestiality.

“The guy asked me if I would let him have sex with my golden retriever. I was back from college for the summer and my parents were gone for the weekend. I meet someone on Grindr and invite him over and the first thing he does [is when] he walks into my house and sees my dog [asks] if he was trained to mount people!! I told him to [f-ck] off and get the hell out of my house and he called me a [c-ck] tease.

My Grindr picture was a picture of my dog and [me] on a hike in the mountains and [apparently,] this guy interpreted that to mean that my dog and I were in a sexual relationship. How [f-cked] up to you have to be to see a picture of a guy and his pet and assume that means that they have sex. [I’ve] never been so disgusted in my life.”

What a flop

When an album or song flops, it means it’s not doing well on the charts. Most of the time, this is a metaphorical word used to describe a lackluster performance. Sometimes, though, the flop is quite literal.

“I met an older guy, and when I invited him round to my student flat it turned out he was nothing like his picture (I’m talking the wrong ethnicity…), I decided straight away nothing sexual was going to happen so we sat in silence together and awkwardly watched Jeremy Kyle before he started questioning me about my preferred footwear, and how much I liked [shoes, etc,] . . .

“Flash-forward 15 minutes and he asked if he could buy my [flip-flops] off me for £10. Long story short, I got paid £10 to watch the Jeremy Kyle show with a white guy who was pretending to be a black guy and all I lost was a pair of [well-used] Primark flip-flops.”

You in danger, girl!

Many gay sex stories involve the hilarity of trying to get it in on the go. Whether it’s from the people involved or just the situation itself, these things can go pretty sideways. But every now & then, someone’s experience is less Riverdale and more Jeffrey Dahmer.

“This happened a few months back but still gives me shivers. At first, the date was moving along rather well. A dinner, a movie and finally we ended up at his place. We talked about our careers, I remember he said he was doing work for a concrete company, I mentioned I was going to school for mortuary sciences.

He proceeded to ask me if I was ever scared to go on dates. I of course said no, but then he started asking pretty dark questions: What would happen if I died on this date? What would you do with my body? Would you hold me until the ambulance arrived? Can I use cement to bury a body? I pulled my pants up when he asked: Wouldn’t it be strange if you just disappeared tonight?”

The Holy Ghost

Many modern-day, God-fearing folks catch the Holy Ghost while at church. Well, they mostly catch it during worship. But, apparently, they can also catch it in. . . the bedroom?

“He asked me to [f-ck] him hard and call him homophobic slurs while I did so. I was younger and thought that it was weird but I went for it and called him every homophobic slur under the sun. I wasn’t into it, but you could tell that he was so I went with it and finished. That’s not the horrifying part of it though. 

“A few weeks later I saw him at my church with his wife and he looked like he had seen a ghost. I pretended not to notice him and went on my way. I still feel horrible for his wife.”

De-railed

The best-laid plans are sometimes derailed from completion. When a person is making the best plans on getting laid. What happens when a literal train and accidental exhibitionism get involved?

“Probably the time that I hooked up with a dude and neither of us could host, so we made the logical decision to just find a secluded spot and go at it. Long story short, we got caught by an entire passenger train that apparently ran right behind the fence two [meters] away from the act, which was well underway. . . ”

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Have you ever been catfished? What are some of your most embarrassing gay sex stories? Let us know in the comments below!