‘Game of Thrones’ series finale S8E6 “Revenge of a Mad Queen” preview
Dying to relive the deflation and crushing disappointment of Game of Thrones season 8? We knew it. Here’s our official preview of the series finale, heavy on the snark and light on the fawning. Let it provide you with some much-needed relief now that nasty hangover from the series has finally faded.
As the world collectively rolled their eyes last Sunday to see the Game of Thrones showrunners Dave Benioff and D.B. Weiss pulling out the oldest, laziest TV trope in the book (“there’s a darkness in me”) to round out the final (and incredibly disappointing) Game of Thrones season, we really don’t have high expectations for the finale this Sunday.
Who can blame the two “D”s for wanting to get out while the going’s good? It doesn’t take a genius to work out that whatever HBO pays them (which we imagine is insanely handsome) will probably be at least quadrupled by them joining the cavalcade of crap that is Disney’s Star Wars reboot train. The Star Wars cash cow is fast approaching “fully milked” status as franchise fatigue sets in quicker that Robert Baratheon’s gout.
D&D are taking the bird in the hand and we can’t blame them – but we’re pretty pissed that millions and millions of heavily invested Game of Thrones fans are being insulted by this final season’s sloppy, clichéd writing exactly the antithesis of the George R.R. Martin version of the show we all fell in love with.
Given our superb track record of prescience in foreshadowing the previous two episodes here and here, it behooves you to attend to the dashed-off blurbs below as if they’re precious ink scratchings hidden deep in the library of Old Town. Here’s what we can work out from the (very dark) teaser that HBO honored us with this week.
Everyone still alive is pissed at Dark Auntie Dany
Mother of Dragons and freed slaves, “Misa” took a very unexpected turn for the brutal after her loftily idealistic days in Essos. Despite the hollow foreshadowing of recent seasons, the shock we felt at this betrayal of every principle Daenerys supposedly stood for was less of surprise than disappointment.
It’s clear Tyrion feels the same in the clip with his brooding stare. Too late, bro! You could have prevented this slaughter. We told you he was stupid nowadays.
There isn’t much left of King’s Landing
Drogon, the Unsullied, and the Dothraki (not to mention some Naughty Northerners) did a number on this city of a million terrified civilians.
Arya will use a Face to slay Dark Auntie Dany
Arya looks pretty cranky lurking behind those troops. Cranky and vengeful. We’ve got money on the fact that Dark Auntie Dany earned her new place at the top of Arya’s Kill List.
Dark Auntie Dany wants to kill ‘em all
Dany still has that deadly fear-anger combo on her face after laying waste to a productive city filled with innocent smallfolk going about their lives in peace. One thing’s for sure: she can’t destroy the Sept of Baelor – Cersei already took care of that.