HomeOur Obsessions‘Santa Clarita Diet’: The wokest wisdom from Nathan Fillion’s zombie head

‘Santa Clarita Diet’: The wokest wisdom from Nathan Fillion’s zombie head

Gary made his exciting, sassy return to 'Santa Clarita Diet' and his burial appeared to have done him wonders, loading him up with insight, wisdom, and a whole new set of sniping one-liners. FD is proud to present (for the good of mankind) Fillion’s wisest words as Gary’s disembodied zombie head.

‘Santa Clarita Diet’: The wokest wisdom from Nathan Fillion’s zombie head

We bingewatched every last episode of Santa Clarita Diet S2 with as much hungry fervor as an undead suburban mom guzzling upon the guts of a Nazi softball team. The Netflix Originals series really hit its stride last season, with a relentless set of sharp jokes centered around an even darker, edgier humor and bigger horror setpieces.

Joel (Timothy Olyphant) became more neurotic & nervous (including a memorable sequence involving a paranoid breakfast pastry standoff) while Sheila (Drew Barrymore) became more bloodthirsty and inventive in her pursuit for flesh. Both are spectacular characters brought to life by exceptional comedic performances. But can we also talk about the return of Gary (Nathan Fillion)? Because oh boy, was it good.

After becoming a takeaway meal for one following an assault made on Sheila (big mistake!), Gary was chopped up by the Hammonds and buried out in the middle of nowhere to be ignored forevermore. Except they kind of forgot an essential component of zombie lore – destroy the brain or else the undead will remain so (even if you take away their body).

As a result, Gary made his exciting, sassy return to Santa Clarita Diet and his burial appeared to have done him wonders, loading him up with insight, wisdom, and a whole new set of sniping one-liners.

Unfortunately, heartthrob Fillion won’t be returning to Santa Clarita Diet for the third season – but FD is proud to present (for the good of mankind) Fillion’s wisest words as Gary’s disembodied zombie head. Please use them responsibly.

13. When he described what his undead sleeping setup was like

In a pudding of my own guts

Not the comfiest of beds, we’ll give him that.

12. When Sheila determined Gary was a better man separated from his penis

Maybe. It certainly has given me more free time.

Dear recently exposed creeps of Hollywood: ever considered becoming a disembodied head as a more active alternative to wearing those insincere Time’s Up pins? Just a thought!

11. When he had the only appropriate reaction to a severed dick story

There was a dick in my fruit bowl.

Actually, forget what we said about those Time’s Up pins. Keep on wearing ’em, fellas. Nobody needs a severed dick in their fruit bowl.

10. When the gross zombie head was scared of the laundry room

It's kind of spooky down here.

Joel’s response: “It’s only spooky because you’re down here!” Perfection.

9. When he told Joel to look on the bright side of his wife’s new powers

or "Jesus Christ, I'm fucking the Queen of England."

Sure, when you’re with a powerful woman your needs come second. But at the end of the day, just be grateful you’re with a goddamn powerful woman! Enjoy the hustle, fellas.

8. When he pointed out the human necessity for small talk

Excuse me for wanting human contact.

Aren’t we all just an isolated, otherworldly being making idle chit-chat as a means to feel less alone? No, just us? Cool cool cool. Definitely not awkward.

7. When he shared some serious home truths about apologies with Joel

"Sorry, but..." is not a real apology.

Truly a lesson for all of us, especially when the apology resembles a sentence like this: “Sorry, but we didn’t know about destroying the brain before we chopped you up, buried you, abandoned the plot, and forgot it ever happened.”

6. When he had the best comeback to Joel’s assertion that he’s just “a talking head in a flower vase”

Still better looking than you, buddy!

Shots fired, burns acquired! Gary’s S2 comebacks are proof being a zombified head shouldn’t hinder your capacity for sass.

5. When he reasoned he knew Sheila’s flaws as vividly as Joel did

I saw your gal eat her way into my stomach.

You really see a person differently when they’re dining out on your guts while you’re alert, alarmed, and still very much alive.

4. When he still thought Joel & Sheila were “the best” despite, well, everything

I mean, sure, you disemboweled me and buried me alive.

It probably had something to do with Joel listening to Quadrophenia with him and tickling his ears, but still.

3. When he made a funny about travelling to Mexico

But since I'm only a head, it may take me a few years to roll there.

Ba dum boom tish. These are the jokes, folks!

2. When he had to have the final word

Well, this just got fucking weird.

You know your shit has truly gone south when the discarnate, exanimate head among you concludes everything is “weird”.

1. When he really got into character

She can grant eternal life! Eternal!

He’s one step away (if he had feet) from a carnival side-show and we love it. More undead Fillion / Gary japes for S3, please!

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Amy Roberts is a freelance writer who occasionally moonlights as a hapless punk musician. She’s written about pop culture for websites like Bustle, i-D, and The Mary Sue, and is the co-creator of Clarissa Explains F*ck All. She likes watching horror movies with her cat and eating too much sugar.

amy@filmdaily.co