Overboard: The best and worst new movies that are remakes of untouchable classics
Another year, another set of movies that are rehashes of old stories. In this booming era of remakes and reboots, 2018 is no different, with a number of classic movies and stories being churned through Hollywood’s recycling plant with varying results. While we have no way of knowing for certain whether some of these movies will do the original films justice or whether they’ll leave a stain on whatever screen they come to, we can speculate upon them based on the few details we know at this time. Here are the best and worst classic movie remakes of 2018, ranked in terms of quality.
7. Death Wish (2018): Remake of Death Wish (1974)
Released in March to a swell of controversy that director Eli Roth (Cabin Fever) is more than familiar with, the modern retelling of Michael Winner’s Death Wish saw Bruce Willis (Die Hard) replacing Charles Bronson (The Great Escape) in the role of a man seeking violent justice in revenge for an attack on his family. It was violent, extreme, and edgy, but it also wasn’t a patch on the original.
The gender-swapped remake of Garry Marshall’s 1987 comedy saw Kurt Russell (The Hateful Eight) as a disgruntled carpenter taking revenge on a bratty heiress with amnesia by convincing her they’re husband and wife. In Bob Fisher and Rob Greenberg’s modern update of the story, Anna Faris (Just Friends) is taking the role of a mistreated employee reaping revenge against Eugenio Derbez’s despicable rich dude by convincing him they’re actually dirt poor and totally married.
5. The Hustle (2018): Remake of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)
Starring Anne Hathaway (Les Misérables) and Rebel Wilson (Pitch Perfect) in the roles of two con artists originally depicted by Michael Caine (The Quiet American) and Steve Martin (Roxanne), Chris Addison’s remake of the beloved 1988 comedy is another gender-swapped remake that we’re currently on the fence about. With no trailer released for the movie and a June 29 release date coming up, we’re also a little unsure as to how great the movie will be considering nobody seems to be bragging about it yet. Time will tell!
4. Robin Hood (2018): Remake of every other Robin Hood story ever filmed
It may have only been eight years since Ridley Scott attempted to bring us a Robin Hood story with an edgy, modern twist, but Otto Bathurst’s new take on the philanthropic archer looks set to give that treatment another try. Taron Egerton (Kingsman: The Golden Circle) will be depicting a young, energized version of Sherwood Forest’s class war revolutionary, while Jamie Foxx (Django Unchained) will be playing Little John and Ben Mendelsohn (Rogue One: A Star Wars Story) the cruel Sheriff of Nottingham. But will this version be enough to make the story feel fresh and interesting to audiences (who were hardly fighting over tickets for Scott’s version eight years ago)? We’ll have to wait and see. The movie premieres November 21.
3. A Star Is Born (2018): Remake of A Star Is Born (1976)
Lady Gaga (American Horror Story) and Bradley Cooper (Silver Linings Playbook) star in Cooper’s directorial debut – a modern reworking of A Star Is Born. Following an alcoholic movie star who helps a young multi-talented woman find fame amid his own downward spiral, the movie is a remake of Frank Pierson’s 1976 classic (starring Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson), which in turn was also a remake of George Cukor’s 1954 film (starring Judy Garland and James Mason). Hollywood is officially cannibalizing itself, ladies and gentlemen. Cooper’s iteration of the story will be released in theaters on October 5.
With a script co-written by Danny McBride (Pineapple Express) and Jamie Lee Curtis (A Fish Called Wanda) reprising her role as Laurie Strode, David Gordon Green’s new take on Halloween isn’t so much a remake of John Carpenter’s original movie as it is a remake of the canon. Every dumb plot point involving Michael Myers that happened after Halloween 2? It’s been binned. Never happened, folks! Which means this new Halloween – due for a timely release on October 19 – will hopefully bring back the original spirit of the first two movies.
Luca Guadagnino’s remake of Dario Argento’s blood-curdling Giallo horror is one of the most highly anticipated new films of the year. Especially after first footage of the film drew shock and awe from audiences at CinemaCon recently, where critics described it as “traumatizing” and “fucking terrifying”. Sounds good to us! Original Suspiria star Jessica Harper (Shock Treatment) has also raved about the remake (due for release in fall of this year), calling it a “brilliant scary movie”. Featuring a score from Radiohead’s Thom Yorke that is bound to be bleak and performances from a cast including Chloë Grace Moretz (Let Me In), Dakota Johnson (Fifty Shades of Grey), and Tilda Swinton (We Need to Talk About Kevin), we absolutely can’t wait to see it.