Date yourself and watch these anti-Valentine’s Day movies
With February 14th just around the corner, it’s almost time for the most annoying sham of a “holiday” that’s built on mushy Hallmark cliches – Valentine’s Day. The lovey-dovey day is notorious for placing unnecessary pressure on singles and dredging up feelings that are directly opposite of the warmth & love the heart-shaped festive galore is meant to inspire.
But hey, nobody said you have to spend Valentine’s Day with a date, a five-course meal, and flowers that’ll probably wilt in a week to properly enjoy the holiday. After all, for every teddy bear gripping a box of chocolates, there’s a Valentine’s Day hater gripping a bottle of wine, and for every maudlin movie being watched on the dreaded date, there’s an anti-Valentine’s Day movie bound to attract your attention.
For all the cynics out there who are either single or unsure how to classify their relationship status, we’ve rounded up a list of movies that are perfect for people who just can’t with dating, love, and romance.
So, this Valentine’s Day, kick back, relax and have a date with any of these amazing anti-Valentine’s Day movies because sometimes all it takes for a great Valentine’s Day celebration is to watch an equally heavenly anti-Valentine’s Day movie.
Get Out
Non-romantics who are not able to cope with the love that’s in the air and all the other places, Jordan Peele’s Get Out is here to provide you a healthy dollop of horror & macabre to make your Valentine’s Day evening more palatable. The genre-bending movie revolves around an interracial couple whose “meet the folks” weekend didn’t go as smoothly as they’d hoped.
From strange housekeepers to hypnotism to an illegal surgery ring where people’s brains are operated on without their consent, Get Out has all the elements to keep you entertained and possibly make you swear off romantic relationships altogether – or at least enquire if your partner’s family is running a body stealing racket in their basement.
A Streetcar Named Desire
What better way to protest everything the 14th of each February stands for than to shun the soppy romantic comedies and instead opt for movies that show the slippery side of relationships. Based on the play by Tennessee Williams, A Streetcar Named Desire follows the relationship between a discredited southern belle, her chaotic sister, and her sister’s brutish husband.
The critically acclaimed drama also chronicles one of the most compelling performances of Marlon Brando, who is widely considered the greatest movie actor of all time. A Streetcar Named Desire portrays violent emotions & conflicts that are certainly not for the hopeless romantics out there.
The Love Witch
The Love Witch is about a narcissistic modern-day sorceress who escapes her ex-husband and embraces the world of witchcraft. She embarks on a crusade to use her fatal love potions & magic tricks to ensnare men and disposes of them when they are unable to satisfy her needs. Anna Biller’s critically adored, vintage-style comedy-horror is a purposeful nod to 60s & 70s melodrama tropes.
The spellbinding film is dripping with gender politics, witchcraft, and queasy rituals that will serve as the perfect addition to your peaceful date on Valentine’s Day. After all, not everybody’s idea of a good Valentine’s Day movie involves romantic monogamous love – some people also enjoy a movie where the protagonist is a serial killer in the midst of her own rom-com. To each their own, right?
Gone Girl
A psychological thriller may be a bold choice for a day that’s famous for its cuddly & fuzzy fantasy, but sometimes we need a reminder that not all romances go right – some go extremely wrong like Nick & Amy’s marriage in David Fincher’s Gone Girl.
The couple’s blissful relationship is stretched to its most terrible extreme, turning them into two of the most messed up people you’ll ever see. Based on the best-selling book by Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl is a superbly entertaining way to realize you’re better off dating yourself!
