HomeOur ObsessionsBeing quirky with Zooey Deschanel: Why ‘New Girl’ is the absolute worst

Being quirky with Zooey Deschanel: Why ‘New Girl’ is the absolute worst

'New Girl' is bad, folks. Really, really bad. 'New Girl' is the absolute worst and we won’t be sad to see it go. Here’s why.

Being quirky with Zooey Deschanel: Why ‘New Girl’ is the absolute worst

We’re not one to kick a lady while she’s down (or in this case, a TV show currently airing its final ever season), but we’ve been ever so polite about something majorly vexing for a while now – New Girl is bad, folks. Really, really bad.

We aren’t just saying this to kick up a stink (honest); we’re saying it because we checked back in with the show recently after giving up on it a couple of seasons ago and it was like nothing had changed. All time-hopping aside (which, by the way, is a cheap enough final season TV gimmick as it is), the show is still clunking about with the same flaws, bad jokes, stagnant characters, and saccharine tweeness that it was in season one. New Girl is the absolute worst and we won’t be sad to see it go. Here’s why.

New Girl was created to showcase Zooey Deschanel’s skills

We don’t want to get all mean girl about New Girl’s main girl, but we’ve always been of the belief that Zooey Deschanel isn’t quite funny enough to lead a sitcom. For starters, her personal brand has always been extremely onenote, with a skill set that includes her bulging her eyes adorably at things, making cute noises, playing the ukulele when times get tough, and wearing adorkable dresses to grown up functions. None of which is something that we would have ever liked to see a sitcom built around.

Except from the sounds of it, that was exactly how New Girl was created. Speaking to Collider about the show, Deschanel divulged her enormous joy at realizing New Girl was basically all about her.

“Nothing is better than being on a TV show where you have all these great writers, writing for me every week, thinking about what I do best and writing that. There’s nothing more exciting for an actor than that . . . I love doing movies, but there’s something so nice about coming to work every day and knowing that this is something that is being created around you. That’s very exciting.”

Hit Fox show 'New Girl' came to an end last year, so we thought we’d reminisce about some of the most memorable goodbyes in sitcom history.

New Girl tries too hard to be kooky

Speaking of which, we all know “kooky” is Deschanel’s personal brand, but her vibe also smothers the show to the point where it feels like a series of quirks, zany mishaps, and random fun times just slapped together with some glitter glue and unicorn spit.

For instance, the most recent episode of the series featured a classic New Girl scenario that we actually can’t believe hasn’t happened before on the show – a memorial service for a dead cat. This is a show that’s also thrown a bachelor party and sorts of other japes for the feline friend. Unlike those moments, the cat memorial isn’t just a single scene. The majority of the episode revolves around this kooky conceit.

The funeral for Winston’s (Lamorne Morris) cat Ferguson gave us a reasonably heartfelt glimpse of the character dealing with his own struggles and preparing for fatherhood (apparently you can only have a new baby or an old cat, but you can’t have both) but it still felt impossibly kooky.

Said funeral was also peak-New Girl, using a quirky plot device to delve into the deeper emotional depths of a key character. It also sounds like an idea that was pulled out of a big bag of “unused New Girl quirky plot points” that we can only assume is overflowing in the corner of the show’s writing room.

We aren’t saying that was definitely the case, but showrunner Dave Finkel (United States of Tara) did reveal to IndieWire that a “cat funeral” episode has been on the cards for a while now. “This idea for a Ferguson funeral piece, one of our writers, Noah Garfinkel, has been pitching this idea for a couple years now.

“We kept going like, ‘No, no, no, no, no. We can’t do that, we can’t do that.’ And then when we knew we were flashing-forward and we were on our writers’ retreat, he brought it up again. We were like, ‘Yep, now’s the time.’” Explains everything, to be honest. We have nothing further to add.

Jess (Deschanel) and Nick (Jake Johnson) are the worst will-they-won’t-they couple ever

Their relationship has been on and off for the duration of New Girl’s existence and honestly? Their romantic coupling is one of the worst on TV. Part of the problem is that the two were paired up far too early in the show’s run and the writers subsequently failed to develop them both as individuals outside of their relationship as and when they split up for upteenth time.

That made Jess into a cutesy caricature of a woman whose brash optimism (even in the face of heartbreak) made her insufferably twee and that turned Nick into an unlovable immature loser who continued to live with his ex-girlfriend for some stupid reason that is completely beyond us. As individuals, they’re awful and as a couple, they’re baffling. And yet the show has continued to pivot around this relationship for the entire stint of the show.

New Girl’s characters have all become Joey from Friends

By which we mean all of the characters have become unbearably rigid over time in a way that makes the show predictable, stiff, and resolutely static. As Uproxx once astutely reasoned, “They’re like Joey Tribbiani, a character that got a laugh one time because of his enthusiasm for sandwiches, and five seasons later, he was practically defined by his love of them.”

Now, don’t get us wrong – there’s a place in the world for the comforts of a TV show that sticks to the familiar and just churns out chuckles to the same formula week in and week out, but New Girl has passed that point. It’s no longer a familiar comfort to watch and is instead a series of recycled jokes the writers keep hoisting out of the proverbial quick sand of sitcom failures in the hopes it’ll see them through for another week.

New Girl made Max Greenfield unattractive

You monsters! This is perhaps the most unforgivable crime New Girl has committed. With the character of Schmidt they took a dreamboat like Greenfield and turned him into a ghastly one-dimensional stereotypical bro. We’ll tell you exactly the moment we officially checked out of New Girl – S4E7. An episode in which Schmidt puts earphones on his girlfriend Cece (Hannah Simone) so he can say goodbye to his two “best friends” – her beautiful tits – as she goes to get a breast reduction. It is horrendous.

There’s obviously something incredibly disconcerting about seeing a man reduce a woman to her “fun bags”, but we’re also insulted on behalf of straight men everywhere. We give you a hard time sometimes dudes, but you deserve way better than to be depicted as a batch of boob brained buffoons so emotionally immature you can’t function without the support of a bosom.

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Amy Roberts is a freelance writer who occasionally moonlights as a hapless punk musician. She’s written about pop culture for websites like Bustle, i-D, and The Mary Sue, and is the co-creator of Clarissa Explains F*ck All. She likes watching horror movies with her cat and eating too much sugar.

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Comments
  • Sounds like the writer of this was an overly jaded haater…. and may I guess, a man? As a writer/critic, please learn to recognize that some folks prefer a LIGHT kind of entertainment and at least allow its lightness and fun without picking apart everything that doesn’t fit into your particular brand of comedy/entertainment.

    your hatred of Zooey self-assuredly expressing her gratefulness at having her own show points to your inability to see an actress not catering directly to the male gaze creating her own brand and value.

    February 24, 2020
    • The author is Amy Roberts, so I don’t think is a misogynistic hate piece. Regardless, I agree with your point about the author failing to recognize that this type of show is enjoyed by a large group of people who don’t feel the need to deconstruct every element in a negative way because they don’t like it. Additionally, I think the author fails to realize that the people who are reading articles like this are largely new girl fans (I don’t tend to read articles about show’s I haven’t watched, but perhaps that’s just me) so she is effectively picking a fight against most of her audience from the start. I don’t understand how “Journalism” has morphed into a bunch of counter culture late 20 somethings who only write pieces about things they hate. It’s not politics, it’s entertainment so why bother writing such negative articles in the first place you aren’t creating any value by doing so. I know the industry forces creatives to mass produce content which makes the quality sufficiently lower, just try and be more than what this article makes you seem to be.

      April 2, 2020
    • I agree

      April 3, 2020
  • This was written by a woman.. named Amy Roberts.. which is stated at the top of the article and the bottom.

    March 25, 2020
  • Everything doesn’t need to be serious all the time And the show didn’t ruin greenfield’s hotness it made him EVEN HOTTER. men can be neurotic too
    also when was this reviewed & posted

    April 3, 2020
    • I feel like this was written by someone who just cherry picked episodes with themes she didn’t like. For example, in the episode where Schmidt says goodbye to CeCe’s fun bags, his last line is also about how CeCe is the most beautiful woman on Earth. There are many times in the show where Schmidt shows that CeCe means more to him than just looks, but he also finds her incredibly hot (who wouldn’t want their partner to think they are the hottest thing?). It’s cool if you don’t like “zany” and “quirky” sitcoms, but just say that. Don’t pretend like there’s any real, “this is what makes a bad show,” merit behind what you’re saying.

      April 24, 2020
  • I would have to disagree completely with the author of this article. New Girl is a great show. Jess’s character is quirky yes, but it’s not a bad thing at all. Her character development allows Nick, Schmitt, Winston, Coach, and even CeCe to embrace their own choices. We especially see this in Coach when Jess helps him see that it’s okay to fall really hard for someone. Coach then finally lets go of his “coolness” and moves to New York with the love of his life. I think Deschanel’s character grounds the others and allows them to finally find themselves. New Girl is about a bunch of young adults finding what they want in life while at the same time they find friendship in each other. Each character is very different too and yes, they do sometimes do bad things, but that’s part of life. The show is realistic in that it shows mistakes and people are more complex than cartoon characters. Max Greenfield is amazing in New Girl too. I think you have no vision if you find him unattractive after he’s played the role of Schmitt. Schmitt is a complex character and some of the things he does aren’t great but he is very funny. This goes back to my point that the characters are more like real people and they make mistakes. And also, the show is hilarious and it’s suppose to be silly. I feel like if you don’t find New Girl funny, then you don’t have a sense of humor. You also really called yourself out by saying “not to get all mean girl”. You totally singled out Deschanel. She’s great in the show and very funny. The only argument you kept repeating was that the show was “quirky” and you had no real evidence (like plot holes) to back your dislike for the show up. It’s like you turned on the show, started coloring in your coloring book, and didn’t pay attention to the show at all. Grow up and find something that’s actually worth criticizing.

    April 21, 2020
  • I just feel pity for this “Author”. New Girl is a light hearted show similar to Brooklyn 99. I don’t see why the “writer” of this article got so bothered that they had to type up a failed rant here on this website nobody ever knew existed.

    Again, your life is sad and I pity you.

    May 4, 2020

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