The slush pile: Netflix’s most savagely awful TV shows you need to avoid
Due to the dizzying volume with which Netflix keep dropping their own original TV shows and movies to the streaming service, it’s currently packed full of unwatchable dross. The kind of things you throw on at 10pm because you’ve just wasted a fair chunk of your life scrolling through options before deciding upon whatever because it’ll do.
Except it’s becoming increasingly more commonplace that such impulsive decisions definitely don’t always (if ever) end well. There’s a lot of garbage on Netflix these days. To save you from stumbling upon a regrettable bingewatch, here’s our ranking of the ten worst Netflix Originals you want to desperately avoid.
10. Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life (2016)
The miniseries return of the beloved family dramedy offered a crushing disappointment for every fan who waited the ten crappy years to see it. More baffling than one of Kirk’s (Sean Gunn) amateur film productions and more infuriating than Rory’s (Alexis Bledel) deplorable love life, the series was actually insulting, including a dumb cliffhanger ending that will probably never be followed up.
9. Marco Polo (2014)
If we were playing the game Marco Polo (of which this horrendous 13th century Mongolia-set drama is of no relation) we’d at least have our hands over our eyes and be spared the indignity of watching a single episode of this drab failure.
8. Neo Yokio (2017)
Created by Ezra Koenig and featuring the voice acting talents (or lack thereof) of Jaden Smith (The Pursuit of Happyness), Jude Law (The Talented Mr. Ripley), and Tavi Gevinson (Enough Said), this animated fantasy show is more farce than fabulous.
Following a fashion-obsessed demon hunter (Smith), Neo Yokio seriously fails to slay, with The Verge proclaiming, “the show has no soul. It’s dead on arrival.” Something tells us it won’t be getting reanimated any time soon.
7. Girlboss (2017)
Smarmy, safe, and hideously written, Girlboss should have filed for bankruptcy long before the charmless series filmed its first scene.
Starring Britt Robertson (Tomorrowland), Ellie Reed, and Johnny Simmons (The Perks of Being a Wallflower) as a pack of struggling young folk (who inexplicably live in enormous faux-shabby apartments) hustling for business with a smug sense of self-worth, the show is only good for the most extreme of hatewatching.
6. Gypsy (2017)
On paper, Gypsy sounded like exactly the sort of prestigious homerun Netflix needs. It stars Naomi Watts (Mulholland Drive) as a horny therapist who can’t stop hitting bone-town with her patients, for crying out loud! However, sadly it’s about as prestigious as a sex soiled therapist’s couch and offers an utter misfire at an attempt at a complex female anti-hero.
5. Friends from College (2017)
Boasting a dream cast of usually dependable funny people like Keegan-Michael Key (Keanu), Billy Eichner, Fred Savage (The Wonder Years), and Cobie Smulders (How I Met Your Mother), Friends from College turned out to be one of Netflix’s most savage disappointments. It’s about as funny as the average college reunion is in real life – awkward, flat, and full of people you’ve come to realize you never want to see again.
4. Disjointed (2017)
We weep for Kathy Bates (Misery). There are no words to suitably express how utterly dreadful this one-note comedy about a marijuana dispensary is. For a show about highs, it’s full of lows. As CNN astutely put it, “There’s not enough weed in the Golden State to wring consistent laughs from a show that’s mostly as stale as an unwashed bong.”
3. Marvel’s Iron Fist (2017)
After a successful run of hit Marvel shows like Daredevil, Jessica Jones, and Luke Cage, poor little rich boy Danny Rand (Finn Jones) came along with his big stupid glowing fist and ruined an otherwise great run. Great job, Iron Fist. Nobody likes you!
2. Fuller House (2016)
It’s like the late 80s and early 90s never ended, but it’s no laughing matter. Seriously. There isn’t a single joke to be found in this regurgitated trash heap of a sitcom.
1. Real Rob (2015)
At one point, did anybody think a sitcom revolving around the “real life exploits” of Rob Schneider (The Animal) was a good idea? The world has never needed a show from the perspective of one of the most maligned, overrated men to have ever step foot in a comedy barn, and yet Netflix were throwing money at the damn thing. Sixteen episodes were made! Unbelievable.