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By now you’ve hopefully hate watched the shit out of 'I Feel Pretty 'with as much zeal as Greta Gerwig did last month. In an effort to make sense of this this stinking crapbag of a movie, we’ve attempted to unpick key moments from it.

The lessons we (shouldn’t) learn from ‘I Feel Pretty’

By now you’ve hopefully hate watched the shit out of I Feel Pretty with as much zeal as Greta Gerwig did last month or you’ve managed to avoid this trash fire of a movie altogether. Either way, we hope you’ve survived the Amy Schumer (Trainwreck) movie relatively unscathed – because we still can’t quite get over the monstrosity of it.

In an effort to make sense of this this stinking crapbag of a movie, we’ve attempted to unpick key moments from it, figure out the weird message conveyed in the film, and offer a suggestion of what message the film probably should have been conveying instead.  

Hit your head and maybe you’ll look in the mirror and like yourself

Obviously written for the trailer lols, the sequence that sees Schumer’s character Renee pull a spectacular spinning move and end up concussed on the floor next to her bike – hair painfully caught in the wheel – is the moment that this “switch” happens. A comic scene where she grabs at her stomach and admires herself in the mirror is tarnished by a bad taste in the mouth. The audience shuffles in their seat as it’s evident we’ve fallen down the rabbit hole. Is it wrong to laugh at someone with an obvious head trauma who has now found some ill-gotten and short-lived confidence? Probably, yes.

Antidote: Make small steps to acceptance. Work on building your confidence up through a series of activities not involving spinning (unless you actually take the class and enjoy it).

Your friends will be confused by your new-found confidence, but ultimately accept it without complaint

Renee meets her two besties at their local bar, only for them to be perplexed by her insistence that they can’t possibly recognize her due to her new “hotness”. After some confusion, she goes off to buy them all shots to celebrate the fact that she now looks like a Kardashian in her head. They ultimately decide to just go along with it for ease of script-pacing.

Antidote: Find some friends who will worry that you may be concussed and perhaps suggest a trip to A&E.

Your date will be intimidated by your confidence until they receive validation from strangers

There is no test of confidence for a woman quite like a bikini contest held in a rundown bar behind a beachfront. Another test involved Renee dancing to suitably entertain the gaggle of men in the audience; they achieved that through the clever use of slow-mo. Her date Ethan (Rory Scovel) is deeply embarrassed right up until the moment he sees other men reacting to Renee with appreciation. He then falls in love with her.

Antidote: Find a partner who doesn’t need outside validation to know that you’re awesome.

You can hold onto confidence in the workplace when you know you look good

Renee decides to go for her dream job as the receptionist at a beauty company she works for – a role usually held by wannabe models. She aces the interview not because of how she looks, but because of her passion for the company. I quite liked Renee at this point in the film. Her obvious love for the brand and of their product made her an asset to the team up until she started judging others based on how they looked and then came across as obnoxious, like all the others before her. Sad times.

Antidote: Work hard and gain confidence in your ability to do the job. Oh, and don’t judge others on their appearance. Duh!

Be yourself and everything will be okay!

Spoiler alert!

Renee hits her head again and everything goes back to how it was before. After a brief period of wallowing, she does what everyone in the audience hoped that she would – she decides to learn to love her individualism and use that confidence to sell a new line of affordable products “for the everyday woman” at her company. Yay Renee! It almost made us cry with pride, but that was probably just down to the running time of this vapid movie.

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