The worst true crime podcasts ever

Squirreling into the disheveled corner of audio horror, where the cobwebs of mediocrity languish, we’ve plundered the murky depths of the worst true crime podcasts known to the World Wide Web. *Babes*, brace yourselves. We’re about to spill the tea on a frightful farrago of shoddy research, tedious delivery, and narratives as bumpy as a cross-realm journey on the Hogwarts Express. From spine-chilling tales turned mere podflop bluster to the mundanity of Murder, She Texted, prepare for a gritty deep dive into true crime podcasts’ darker, less polished side.

The crud of the crime

Let’s kick off our litany of abominations with the woefully dreadful “Mystery in Misery”. This ghoulishly grandiloquent catastrophe of a podcast took the compelling dynamic of true crime storytelling and flushed it down the dregs of mediocrity. Shoveling heaps of pseudo-science and half-baked conjectures into their narrative, this is one true crime podcast that leaves you feeling more misled than intrigued. As the tea has it, many listeners find themselves snoring before the credits roll.

Next on our Hall of Shame is “The Art of Crime”. Imagine the worst aspects of an art history lecture jamming with the flaccid drivel of an unsolved crime narrative. Its lamentable lack of originality and a presenter as captivating as a dead hamster would surely warrant a spot on this infamous list of true crime podcasts. All the shade to their attempt, but dabbling in Da Vinci’s work while mumbling about a murder just doesn’t brew the right blend.

Now, slithering to the fore is the true crime podcast “Crimespotting”. With a professional veneer that promised depth and acuity, it only served up a soup of confusion sprinkled with a generous helping of apathy. Its contrived dialogues and trite narrative structure dabbed more monotony than a Dementor’s kiss. This podcast has comfortably ensconced itself in the true crime podcasts’ lowly abyss and shows no sign of seeking redemption anytime soon.

Homicides and Horribles

anyone?

Presenting the utterly insufferable “Homicides and Horribles”. An unfortunate amalgamation of disjointed narratives and meandering monologues, this true crime podcast gives an all-new meaning to auditory torture. The hosts, with their lackluster delivery and haphazard research, seem more interested in yawning the hour away than delving into the gruesome depths of homicidal horrors. In the dense jungle of true crime podcasts, this one’s a stark reminder of what to avoid.

Who could overlook the dire debacle that is “Blood Print”? Trying hard (and failing miserably) to infuse literature into the grim realm of crime, the creators left no stone unturned in their quest to create the most snooze-inducing narrative ever heard in the podcast universe. Balzac and bloodbaths, it seems, aren’t a match made in heaven and this true crime podcast proves it.

Limping in last is “Crimes of Passion”. Passionate? Yes. About passion? Not so much. Abandoning any semblance of intrigue for a regurgitated romance novel narrative, this true crime podcast comes across as less of a thriller and more of a poorly spun Mills and Boon with a rogue murder thrown in for good measure. With a host as exciting as a drying paint, it’s a sedative masquerading as a podcast in the bustling world of true crime podcasts.

A dash of disappointments

Sisters, gather ‘round—we’re not quenching our thirst just yet, oh no. Slowing down the pace in a list of lamented true crime podcasts, Shadows and Screamers slides into contention. With stale narratives and electrifyingly dull delivery, this podcast is a prime example of why not every unsolved murder mystery should be unearthed. This case definitely needed <a href=”https://filmdaily.co/obsessions/sherlock-holmes-3/”Sherlock, not our hapless host.

Channeling an all too literal interpretation of its title is Slow Descent. What was meant to unravel the minute intricacies of notorious crime cases turned into an excruciatingly slow descent into banality. The host’s monotonous drone rivals a Shakespearean soliloquy set in the drab courts of Crimean law. Another regrettable add-on to the list of true crime podcasts that missed the mark.

And finally, rounding off our roster is Serial Killer Serenades. Intending to present grueling tales of infamous spree killers with a background score worthy of a cheap horror flick, this true crime podcast’s execution is as frightening—if not more—than its subjects. It’s like Picasso trying to paint Starry Night—it just doesn’t work, darling! The grotesque mismatch of tone and subject earned it a place in our true crime podcast hall of infamy.

The final curtain call

And so, darlings, our woeful sojourn through the echoing halls of podcast purgatory draws to a close. These rancid offerings of true crime podcasts, with their lackluster precisely aim to serve as a reminder for all budding creators out there – get your facts straight, tone on point, and for the love of all crimes unsolved, keep our adrenaline pumping! For now, let’s raise a toast to these brave souls who dared but failed stupendously. Remember, they didn’t fall from grace—they merely stumbled onto mediocrity. Inspired by their tales, let’s brew some piping hot tea, unspool captivating narratives and elevate the true essence of true crime podcasts! After all, we’re all just looking for a shot of intrigue with a chaser of thrill, aren’t we?