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Since its debut, 'Riverdale' has been infamous for its poor writing and increasingly edgy themes. Here are quotes that show the Archies aren't that smart.

Iconic ‘Riverdale’ quotes: These lines are proof the Archies aren’t so smart

Since its debut in 2017, Riverdale has been infamous for its poor writing and increasingly edgy themes. Some lines spoken by the characters in Riverdale are so bad they take you right out of the show. 

Since we enjoy torturing ourselves, we’ve gathered tons of these immersion-breaking lines from the show. And for your convenience, we’ve organized them by character. Have fun cringing! 


“I was born alone. I’ll die alone. I’ll sing alone. I’ll be OK.”

“Don’t underestimate her. And don’t bet against her.”

 “You are so perfect. I’ll never be good enough for you.”

“From now on, we’re protecting our own.”

“We will find you, we will hunt you, and we will end you.

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“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, especially not when there’s a snake curled up in its limbs.”

 “I self-identify as a loner.”

 “We’re not gonna hug in front of this whole town. So why don’t we just both do that bro thing where we nod like douches and mutually suppress our emotions.” 

“Just kind of hoping it means I’ll always be close to him, no matter what.”

“Doesn’t it ever occur to you how different we are, like on a cellular level?”

“That’s the common misconception about fairy tales. They very rarely have a happy ending.”

“You’re so much stronger than all of the white noise.”

“I don’t fit in. And I don’t wanna fit in.”

“Sardonic humor is just my way of relating to the world.”

“There’s that old cliché saying – ‘It’s always darkest before the dawn.’ But sometimes there’s just darkness.”


“We’re endgame, Archie”

“You wouldn’t be the first mobster to see a therapist, Daddy.”

“As hot and smart as you are you should be the Queen Bey of this drab hive.”

“Be the Jay to my Bey?”

“I need to know my dad’s life, and he needs to know mine.”

“I’m Breakfast at Tiffany’s, but this place is strictly In Cold Blood.”

“You may be a stock character from a 90s teen movie but I’m not.”

“Can’t we just liberate ourselves from the tired dichotomy of jock, artist. Can’t we, in this post-James Franco world, be all things at once?”

 “You wanted fire? Sorry, Cheryl Bombshell, my specialty is ice.”

“Betty and I come as a matching set. You want one, you take us both.”

“I don’t follow the rules. I make them. And when necessary, I break them.”


“Betty’s ponytail is iconic and beyond reproach.”

“You live in this pale pink world of milkshakes and first kisses.”

“What was it like before she got here? I honestly cannot remember.”

“In real life, what you see is what you get.” 

“If you can’t accept what I do, whatever I do, then we’re just . . . we’re not really friends.”


“I need girls with fire on my squad.”

“Sorry to interrupt the sad breakfast club.”

“I think she’s crazier than a serial killer on bath salts.”

 “I’m in the mood for chaos.” 

“Hands off, goblin.”


 “We’re both so lucky, I mean, don’t you think? To have found the people that we’re meant to be with?” 

“I usually open this tour with a little history, some context. Riverdale High first opened its doors in 1941”

 “I’m not gonna stop until I prove it.”

“Who would’ve thought at the beginning of the year that we would all become great friends?”

Did you make it this far without prying your eyes out? Congrats! We’re so sorry for putting you through that torture. Let us know down below which quote made you cringe the hardest.

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  • I love these qoutes

    September 26, 2020

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