Show your ID before laughing at these hilarious jokes only for adults
Some jokes fit every situation: over dinner with the kids, chatting with your parents, coffee with your boss. Some jokes can be said in any situation and be just fine.
But there are some jokes that are more . . . risque. Jokes that can only be said over drinks with friends or with those who don’t mind getting a bit raunchy. These jokes will get you a raised brow in more polite company at best and crickets at worst. x
That doesn’t mean we don’t love them, though. Here are a few jokes for adults that we can’t help but chuckle at.
Sticky in every way
Q: What goes in hard and dry then comes out wet and soft? A: Chewing gum
Good pool tips
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh? A: Tickle its balls.
Not exactly wrong
Q: What do you call an expert fisherman? A: A Master Baiter
Ariel’s Secret
Q: Why does the mermaid wear seashells? A: She outgrew her B-shells!
Money, Money, Money
Q: What’s six inches long, two inches wide, and makes everyone go crazy? A: A $100 bill.
Peeping Tom-ato
Q: Why did the ketchup blush? A: He saw the salad dressing.
Well that escalated quickly
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tara. Tara who? Tara McClosoff.
Someone is at the door again
Knock knock! Who’s There? Phil. Phil Who? Phil McCrackin
Let’s get shoveling
Knock, Knock! Who’s There? Howie! Howie who? Howie gonna hide this dead body?
Get your money back, dude
Q: What do you call a cheap circumcision? A: A rip-off.
Nurse, I’m going in
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? A: Because his wife has passed away.
English majors will get this
Q: What are the three shortest words in the English language? A: Is it in?
Bumpy ride
Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? A. Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.
Let the meeting commence
Q: Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. A. Thank you all for coming.
Definitely not a prince
Q: What does a perverted frog say? A. Rubbit
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Have any other funny, raunchy jokes you can only say in impolite company? Drop them in the comments section so we can all have a laugh! At least, those of us who get it will.
