Chucky gets lucky! Ranking the most killer ‘Child’s Play’ moments
Last month MGM released its remake of the 1988 horror classic Child’s Play, which they didn’t totally screw up at least. Lars Klevberg (Polaroid) directed from a script by Tyler Burton Smith. We just weren’t convinced the reboot needed to happen.
The film unfortunately lacked most of the sassy, snarky charm that Chucky (Brad Dourif) showcased throughout the Child’s Play franchise – along with the wry sense of humor of all the sequels. The first film was scary, but the tongue-in-cheek fun of the rest of the franchise is something that keeps genre fans returning to the films time and again. Here’s our ranking of the thirteen best moments from the Child’s Play franchise that have kept us returning to the franchise for the past few decades.
13. Presto . . . you’re dead!: Child’s Play 3 (1991)
This is what you get when you try and buzz Chucky’s hair off! A razor to the throat and a sly one-liner as you bleed out. “It’s definitely you,” Chucky glibly cackles.
12. Chucky gets his arm ripped off: Child’s Play 2 (1990)
The chase through the toy factory is a fairly phenomenal sequence in itself, if just for how Andy (Alex Vincent) manages to miraculously evade all of Chucky’s cunning knife swipes. But seeing Chucky squirm as he rips his arm off to reveal a lot more blood than any doll should ever have before he produces a sadistic grin of delight is nothing short of sinister.
11. Chucky beheads Claire: Cult of Chucky (2017)
It’s amazing what can be done with some compressed air and some science savvy – something that Chucky proves immensely well when he uses some basic physics to his advantage in killing Claire (Grace Lynn Kung) who’s strapped to a gurney. He simply lets the canister go and allows it to smash the skylight above her, thus allowing the shards to sever her head. It’s preposterous and ludicrous and absolutely awesome.
10. Chucky kills Britney Spears: Seed of Chucky (2004)
Chucky takes his son Glen (Billy Boyd) out for a drive and a spot of father-son murder bonding only to be cut off by Britney Spears. Though we have no doubt Britney could probably take on the psycho doll if she had to (and we’d pay good money to see that film in full), Chucky dispatches her by pushing her car off the road. His quip? “Oops! I did it again!” Of course.
9. Ugly doll: Child’s Play 2 (1990)
It’s the simple act of an old lady calling Chucky an “ugly doll” and hearing him curtly respond “fuck you!” that makes our hearts sing.
8. Chucky & Tiffany destroy a honeymoon: Bride of Chucky (1998)
There’s just something hideously hilarious about seeing Tiffany (Jennifer Tilly) looking absolutely bewitched right next to the bed as she watches a couple of Honeymooners get down to business. Worse still is when she smashes the mirror above them and the couple are sliced & diced by the shards in a gargantuan tidal wave of blood and water thanks to the heart-shaped waterbed beneath them. Love hurts, ladies and gentlemen!
7. Chucky teaches Miss Kettlewell a lesson: Child’s Play 2 (1990)
Firstly, a round of applause for character actor Beth Grant who depicts the mean old Miss Kettlewell and is one of the best in the biz. Secondly, does Chucky seriously spank her to death?!
6. Chucky fries the nanny: Curse of Chucky (2013)
Easily the most standout kill of the movie comes courtesy of poor ole Jill – the Nanny who is secretly enjoying an affair with Barb (Danielle Bisutti). The two attempt a webcam hookup while Barb’s hubby is asleep next to her. Sadly, Barb fails to notice Chucky’s sneaky approach behind her mistress (who has a room down the hall) and the psycho doll tips a poorly-placed bucket of water across the floor and into an electrical socket, frying Jill almost instantly. Chucky is delighted and avows, “Women. Can’t live with em – period!”
5. Andy tortures Chucky: Cult of Chucky (2017)
By far the best scene in the movie saw Andy returning from the original two films as an older, embittered man who keeps Chucky’s head locked in a cupboard so he can sporadically torture him as and when he pleases. The horrific shape that Chucky’s head is in suggests Andy’s been doing this for an awfully long time and has used some inventive methods for hurting his former Good Guy doll.
4. Tiffany kills Redman: Seed of Chucky (2004)
The Seed of Chucky has many faults, but one thing it did great by was its descent into meta-horror territory with Tilly playing a version of herself in the film. After a disastrous dinner date with the legendary Def Jam rapper Redman, Tilly storms off to take a phone call while Tiffany creeps in, sweetly waves at him under the table he’s sat at, and proceeds to disembowel him.
The gore is ludicrously brilliant, but the best part of the scene is Tilly’s ironic put downs of Redman like when she bellows “Do you mind? I’m on the phone!” when he’s begging for his life and telling him to “drop dead” before she leaves, which he promptly does.
3. Tiffany & Chucky’s verbal smackdown: Bride of Chucky (1998)
Jade (Katherine) tries all she can to create disharmony between Chucky & Tiff as a means for escaping their RV and she succeeds when she notices poor ole Tiff isn’t getting any help with those dirty dishes Chucky keeps leaving unwashed.
The sniping subsequently goes back & forth between the two dolls, with Tiffany throwing a plate at Chucky’s head screaming “fuck Martha Stewart!” and suggesting he’s more than a little disappointing in the bedroom now because “plastic is no substitute for a nice hunk of wood!” It’s genius.
2. Chucky comes alive: Child’s Play (1988)
It’s the greatest and scariest moment in the entire film franchise, as Karen Barclay (Catherine Hicks) realizes that this particular Good Guy doll is still talking despite having no batteries inside him. Chucky’s subsequent attack of her is horrifying, even if it is a little goofy thanks to his tiny doll limbs thrashing around against her.
1. Chucky gets lucky: Bride of Chucky (1998)
It’s two dolls having sex! Why this didn’t win every Oscar in 1998 is beyond us. The line “Got a rubber?” in itself is especially worthy of every screenwriting accolade going. Hollywood is bullshit.