Facebook knows where you sleep: How to delete your Facebook page

We’ve all been there, multiple times: Facebook will do something that makes us mad, or something that scares us, or something that makes us realize we’re spending waaaaaaay too much time online, and we decide it’s been enough. The time has come to cut the cord and delete our Facebook account. Where are those scissors?

Then, before we’ve even actually figured out how to delete our Facebook page, the platform draws us back in, like a toxic ex who knows just the right words to get another chance. One of our posts (one that came from the heart) gets over a hundred “likes”, an old friend from college (one we had a crush on) sends us a friend request, we find a hilarious new group for memes (after a tough day) . . . and we’re back in.

You can actually delete your Facebook page. Believe us – it’s been done. You just need the right set of circumstances & encouragement – and Facebook itself can provide that incentive when they come out with announcements that make your head spin. We might be living through one of those moments right now.

Skynetbook

Buzzfeed News reports Facebook made some major announcements during a companywide meeting on Tuesday. And if you think one of the big reveals during the meeting was a plan to let Facebook’s artificial intelligence (AI) evolve on its own, congratulations, you hit the nail on its terrifying head.

To be fair, Facebook’s AI is currently only in charge of patrolling the platform, identifying & deleting hate speech (don’t quit your day job, AI!). Then again, we’ve all seen plenty of dystopian futures in sci-fi movies and you know those Terminators started their lives as social media monitors. How else did they have access to everyone’s information?

Other projects of note included an AI assistant tool capable of summarizing news articles for Facebook users who don’t have the time or inclination to read a full article. There are also plans to implement a neural sensor to read commandments directly from Facebook’s users’ brains. We are living in the future, boys & girls.

Let me out

If the prospect of a constantly-evolving AI having access to all the info in your Facebook account makes you uncomfortable, you might have reached a turning point in your social media journey. Are you ready to learn how to delete your Facebook page?

Before you burn the bridge to Facebook-land, however, remember to grab all the available mementos from your soon-to-be-gone profile. Basically, you should download all your Facebook data, which will include any photos & posts archived in your account. Keep in mind you can only do this if you’re logged in on a desktop.

Once you’re logged in on your Facebook page, click on the top right dropdown menu, select “Settings & Privacy” and click on “Settings”. On the left column, click on “Your Facebook Information”. Next to “Download Your Information”, click “View” and you’ll be able to customize the data to be downloaded.

When you’re done customizing, click on “Create File” and watch the magic happen! Just kidding, you have to wait a few days while Facebook prepares the file. They’ll let you know when the files are ready for download.

Freedom

The road to deleting your Facebook page is full of attempts from the social media giant to convince you otherwise. The main selling point toward reconsidering deletion is how, once it’s done, there’s no going back. Facebook will also point out how maybe you just need a break and would be better off simply “deactivating” your account instead of deleting it.

Stay strong. You’ve come this far, might as well see it through: here’s how you delete your Facebook page. First, go back all the way to “Your Facebook Information” and facebook logged me out. Now click on “Deactivation and Deletion”. Choose “Permanently Delete Account”, then click on “Continue to Account Deletion”. Then click on “Delete Account”, enter your password (you remember it, right?), and click on “Continue”.

Is it over? Not quite. Facebook will give you thirty days to walk it all back (I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean it!) and if you log back in within that time period, your Facebook page will be restored as if nothing happened. If you stick to your guns, Facebook can take up to ninety days to fully delete all your account data, but at least it won’t be accessible to anybody while this is happening.

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All joking aside, it’s okay to not have Facebook just like it’s okay to have it. In the end, what matters is what you do with your access to the platform and how it affects your life. Until an omniscient AI says otherwise, you still have the power to pull the plug on your Facebook page when you think the social media app isn’t a healthy use of your time anymore.