The best epic fails and disasters from wedding receptions
Ahh, weddings. The special day of holy matrimony is meant to give a special couple one of the best days (and nights) of their lives. The ceremony is for the bride & groom, but the wedding reception is for everyone.
With such a build-up for one’s wedding day, there’s always a possibility the event will be crushed under the weight of great pressure. Wedding receptions are no stranger to disaster, and the internet is filled with tales of woe from some of the worst.
The best man’s speech is one of the most iconic moments of any wedding reception: the groom’s closest comrade gasses up his buddy and wishes blessing upon the new happy couple. However, sometimes these speeches don’t go as planned.
Cosmopolitan reported one of the biggest speech-fails in wedding history. Twenty-six-year-old Jess tells a tale of a wedding reception where the best man used to hook up with the bride, some time before she and the groom got together.
The best man decided the best way to open up his speech was to tell the reception he “f*cked her first!” to their stunned dismay. One can only imagine the couple’s wedding night didn’t go as planned (hopefully the hotel room had a couch).
Reddit may be the best resource for real-life storytelling on the internet today, holding true when it comes to wedding receptions. A cavalcade of wedding nightmare stories exist on the thread-based website.
One thread filled with stories from wedding staff tells of another speech gone wrong. User cindell tells the tale of a wedding reception where the mother of the bride was asked to say a few words. Those words were: “I give them six months.” (I know who’s not getting invited to the anniversary party!)
User Z123BEE posts a more (ahem) physical altercation that dissolved any possible good nature during a wedding reception. A bride’s cousin was relentlessly hitting on one of the groomsmen’s girlfriends, eventually grabbing her behind during the reception. (Oh, boy here we go.)
As one might expect, a fight ensued, which turned into a brawl of over two dozen people. Apparently as fists flew all over the room, the bride’s mother screamed at the gang that if they didn’t stop, she’d call all their mothers!
Speaking of misdirected advances, user Ganglebot has a similar story. They tell of a reception in which the groom’s cousin (what is WRONG with these cousins?) was hitting on the bride’s mother in front of her husband, the bride’s father.
The altercation flew off the rails when the bride’s father confronted the cousin, the cousin threw a bottle, and the bride’s brother beat the snot out of him as only a bride’s brother can do. Unfortunately, chaos like this tends to be what most guests remember, making physical fights one of the biggest wedding receptions disasters.
Wedding reception disasters aren’t confined to conventional storytelling: these days, we can see these events crumble in crystal clear pictures on reality TV. When it comes to doomed wedding receptions, one needs look no further than TLC’s 90 Day Fiancé.
Viewers of the reality show may remember Elizabeth’s brother Charlie’s speech during her and Andre’s wedding in Moldova. Charlie is so wasted he can barely string a sentence together, and the words he does push out condemn the groom and accuse him of stealing the bride’s father’s money.
Charlie then proceeds to try and fight groom Andre and is asked to leave the venue. From the U.S., Moldova is quite a way to fly to ruin a wedding.
Some wedding receptions are cursed before they are even planned, while others get a wrench thrown in the gears from disgruntled guests. Reading these stories, a tiny courthouse wedding sounds pretty good about now.