How do you really know your partner is the right person for you?

Think about it, there are so many people in the world. The person you’re dating or married to may not be perfectly compatible with you. How can you know that they are the one? What if there is someone out there more compatible for you? What if there is actually someone more compatible for you?

You may never be certain, but there are specific telltale signs that someone may not be compatible for you. These can be obvious, or subtle. They can also be applied to friendships, not just romantic relationships.

Major Signs Of Incompatibility

Uncomfortable Being Yourself

If you feel like you are constantly being judged by your spouse, and that they don’t respect you or your opinions, this is a huge sign. You should be supported and vice versa regardless of whether you both agree on the same items. It isn’t ok to be uncomfortable talking to your partner about things that matter to you. This can be rectified by helping them relearn how they communicate, but is a huge sign of incompatibility.

The second sign is the feeling of having to hide who you are. Do you have to over exaggerate who you are? Do you have to hide yourself? Maybe they love working out and you have to pretend to love it just as much, or you can’t laugh at dark humor because they get easily offended. These are signs of fundamental incompatibility. When you are with the right person, they accept you for who you are, even if they don’t love every habit you have. They’ll healthily encourage you, versus judging you and pushing you into things you aren’t comfortable with.

Different Goals and Expectations

What is your lifestyle and goals? Are they similar to your partners? If not, this is a major red flag. This can be something as small as career choice, and as large as having kids. If you don’t want kids, and they do, you are likely not compatible. If your goals and values are compatible, you’ll push each other to reach them, not put each other down for them. Your goals don’t have to be the exact same, but you shouldn’t prevent each other from meeting them.

Fear to Express Yourself

Do you avoid talking about certain things to prevent fights? This in itself is a huge problem. It’s ok to argue – but being afraid to express yourself because of an argument is not a healthy way to live. Similar to goals, you don’t have to agree on everything, but you should respect each other even if your opinions vary. This is something that can be fixed by trying different conflict resolution techniques. However, it can build into a much larger issue if unresolved. If your partner can’t adapt though, and constantly puts you down, then you need to address the larger issue, and leave the relationship. It is not fair for you to live your life constantly afraid of being yourself. Leaving a relationship takes a lot of courage, but when it’s right, it must be done.

Your Friends And Family Don’t Like Your Partner

If your friends and family don’t like your partner, this is also probably a large issue. Sometimes they do this out of spite, but most of the time it’s because they don’t think the person is right for you. They are trying to tell you this without obviously telling you they hate your partner. In these scenarios, try to listen to their reasons with an open mind; they see things from an outside perspective and may be able to show you something you didn’t see on your own. While you may not like what they have to say, it’s important to listen and give it serious consideration.

Love is missing

Do you feel like you have to beg for attention and compliments? In a relationship, you should want to show your partner you love them. Now, everyone’s love language is different, so taking a quiz together to find your love languages can help rectify this. However, if you express that you are frustrated with the lack of PDA or affirmative phrases, and they still don’t change, this is a huge red flag. You should be with someone that wants to make you feel loved and appreciated.

Sexual Incompatibility

Sexual incompatibility can be identified through open communication with your partner about sexual desires, preferences, and boundaries. It can also be observed through unfulfilled expectations, lack of intimacy, and decreased sexual satisfaction. Seeking therapy with a licensed professional can also help address and overcome sexual incompatibility.

The most obvious sign is that you aren’t attracted to each other. If you have no spark, and you’re just going through the motions, it could be a phase (as this does happen), but if you try to rekindle it and are unsuccessful, it might be time to leave the,. You should be with someone who excites you and is excited to be with you. If you aren’t sexually attracted to each other, it’s a big sign that it is not going to work out. While libidos change, you should still feel attracted to your partner.

Incompatibility In Using Adult Toys

Incompatibility in using sex toys can be identified through disagreements or discomfort about their usage in sexual activity. Communication with your partner about their feelings and boundaries regarding sex toys is crucial in addressing this issue. Understanding and respecting each other’s perspectives, as well as finding common ground, can help resolve this incompatibility.

Regardless, at the end of the day, it is important to pick yourself first. Leaving someone is a huge decision, but if your gut is telling you they aren’t the one for you, and you are not happy, it may be time to take that step. There are so many people in the world who can meet your needs – why not be with one of them?