5 Ways to Support Your College Freshman
5 Ways to Support Your College Freshman
Heading off to college is both liberating and terrifying for many young adults. Whether they’re leaving the state or living at home, college is a whole new experience, and it’s a rite of passage for so many young people. They’ve worked hard and applied themselves, and now it’s happening! Of course, as a parent, you want to show them how proud you are, encourage them, and support them. Here are five ways to do that:
1. Send a Care Package
If your college student has left home for the first time and they’re living in student housing, a care package is perfect. It shows you’re still there for them. Regardless of how exciting it is to leave the nest, remember that your kid has spent their entire life surrounded by family. Now, they’re all alone, and that can be an incredibly lonely experience. Whether they tell you or not, they likely miss the noise, the support, and the warmth.
This loneliness doesn’t necessarily mean they want to come home. But a piece of home, a tangible sign that Mom and Dad are here and proud of them, would likely be appreciated. A care package can be this small piece. You could send their favorite foods, snacks, books, and magazines. Or, if they’re not feeling well, you might send over a get well care package with soups and other comfort foods.
2. Attend Events and Performances
Many kids go to school on sports or other scholarships. This means they’re busy with both academics and extracurriculars. If you’re the kind of parent who always showed up for their high school basketball games or symphonies, you don’t want to stop now. Your presence may be a large part of what kept them going through high school, and it could do the same now. Showing up is a clear sign you’re proud.
So, if your college student has performances or events, do what you can to be there in person. Though you may not be able to fly across the country for every game or show, when you do arrive, it will likely be a delightful surprise. Be strategic about which events you show up for, and take your cues from your kid. As they’re older now, plan to arrive as a spectator and a fan, not the smothering parent trying to get all their attention.
3. Discuss Career Goals
There’s a tremendous amount of pressure on kids these days to have their lives figured out by the time they’re 18. The reality is that most young adults have no idea what they want to do “when they grow up.” And if they do choose a career track, they’re likely to change it at some, or many, points in school and in the first few years of work. Indeed, 53% of Americans who quit their jobs last year made a career change.
One way to show your college student that you’re proud of them, then, is to have conversations about their career goals. Remind them that they don’t have to have it all figured out. College is supposed to be a place to explore their interests, and you want to encourage them to do just that. Support their choices and the decisions they make, even if you don’t understand them. This offer of compassion and stability will be invaluable throughout their adult lives.
4. Offer Help with Study Sessions
Kids who excelled in high school, even in advanced classes, find college more challenging than they expected. In fact, 39% of first-time, full-time bachelor’s degree-seeking students fail to get their degree within 8 years. A big reason for this statistic is likely the difficulty of acclimating to this new environment and staying on top of full-time classwork. Supporting your student through these tough times is a great way to show them you’re proud of them for having come this far.
Pay attention to how your student is doing in college; ask about their grades, about their classwork, and about how they’re feeling as a student. If you notice any red flags, like poor grades, offer your help. The earlier you get involved and help your student stay on track, the better. Get them in touch with a guidance counselor, with tutoring programs, and with their professors. The more involved they are on campus, the more likely they are to do well.
5. Allow Them Independence
Still, with all this help and support, your student is now an adult and starting a journey into the rest of their lives. One of the best ways you can show your student you’re proud of them is to trust them to make smart decisions on their own. It’s a tricky balance, of course, for a parent of a young adult to both offer support and let go of the need for control. The first year or two of college is an opportunity to learn how to do just that.
Yes, show up at events and performances, but maybe not every single one. Of course, you should call and check-in, but don’t call every single day. Let your kid be your guide as to how much, or how little, they want you to be involved. Instead of making decisions for them or pushing your agenda, ask them how they’re doing and if they want your help. Be there when they need you, and back off when they don’t, reminding them all the while that you believe in them.
Sending your kid off to college is a big step, even if they still live at home, and it’s not easy for parents to adjust to this new reality. It’s important you show your new college student just how much you trust them, how proud you are, and how excited you are for their new journey. Symbolic gestures like sending care packages, showing up at events, and helping with their studies are great ways to be encouraging without being overbearing. Your student will appreciate it.