High ranked: The most smoked stoners in cinematic history
Did you leave a plate of cookies and a glass of milk out for Snoop Dogg last night? Because today is 4/20, which means this entire weekend can just be dedicated to the art of the bodacious blunt. It’s the happiest, smokiest, tokiest day of the year, ladies and gentlemen!
In honor of this momentous day (which should really be an official national holiday by now, right?) we thought we’d celebrate the best movie stoners of all time. Blaze up a phat one and open a share pack of potato chips because here’s a ranking of fifteen of Film Daily’s favorite space cowboys (and girls) throughout cinema history.
15. Jesse Montgomery III & Chester Greenburg: Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000)
Ashton Kutcher (Just Married) and Seann William Scott (American Pie) taught the world too much kush can make you kinda dumb. Dude, Where’s My Car? remains one of the stupidest movies of all time and its two central stoners are a big part of that.
14. Larry “Doc” Sportello: Inherent Vice (2014)
Finally pairing the detective and the stoner genres as one, Paul Thomas Anderson’s indie mystery saw Joaquin Phoenix (Walk the Line) play a character baked out of his skull for much of the movie.
13. Ted: Ted (2012)
Who knew that a cuddly bear could be such a deviant? Seth MacFarlane’s irreverent comedy sees the Thunder fearing magical teddy bear spending his life tapping women, hitting bongs, and swigging beer. He’s got it pretty sweet.
12. George Hanson: Easy Rider (1969)
Jack Nicholson’s character is only a minor part of Easy Rider but he still provides one of the most standout scenes, proving a transformative toke can turn a football playing square into a rambling, deep thinker.
11. Michelle & Slater: Dazed and Confused (1993)
In Richard Linklater’s coming-of-age comedy, Michelle (Milla Jovovich) and Slater (Rory Cochrane) are the two main stoners who stand out. Though Michelle has barely any screen time and little to say, when she is on screen she spends it chasing unseen fireflies with her eyes. Meanwhile Slater is a classic paranoid stoner, indulging in conspiratorial rants against the government and theorizing about music.
10. Smokey: Friday (1995)
Following two buds who smoke a dealer’s stash and have to figure out how to repay him that same night, Chris Tucker’s neurotic Smokey takes the stoner to new foolhardy and precocious extremes.
9. Thurgood, Brian, and Scarface: Half Baked (1998)
Played by Dave Chappelle (Undercover Brother), Jim Breuer (Zookeeper), and Guillermo Diaz (Cop Out), the weed obsessed trio at the heart of Half Baked are in a permanent state of heavy lidded bliss. Somehow within that thick fog, the three also have to scheme a way to bail their buddy out of jail, which is easier said than done when your body’s telling to you chill out for the foreseeable future.
8. Jane F.: Smiley Face (2007)
Anna Faris (The House Bunny) also excels at playing up (and sometimes subverting) the stereotypes of the ditzy blonde. In Gregg Araki’s Smiley Face, the star pushes that persona to a new level by playing a woman who unknowingly eats an entire plate of her roommates (Danny Masterson) space cakes. The misadventures that follow get progressively sillier and weirder, but are oddly relatable to anyone who has ever accidentally gotten so high they can’t do life anymore.
7. Harold Lee & Kumar Patel: Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle (2004)
Starring John Cho (Star Trek) & Kal Penn (Van Wilder: Party Liaison) as two stoner pals on a mission from a higher power to eat all the White Castle they can find, the two are the epitome of munchie madness and hilarious for it.
6. Jeff Spicoli: Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
Let’s be serious about this: Amy Heckerling’s riotous high school comedy features Sean Penn’s greatest singular performance of his entire career. Don’t fight it, ladies and gentlemen. It’s the truth – the guy is a powerhouse of bombed brain cells in the role and a highlight of the movie.
5. Dale and Saul: Pineapple Express (2008)
Played by real life besties Seth Rogen (Superbad) and James Franco (The Disaster Artist), Dale and Saul have the most adorable dealer-customer relationship ever. Watching them enjoy the holy delights of the “trifecta” together is nothing short of poetic, as are the frenzied blunderous adventures that follow.
4. Jay and Silent Bob: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
These two (played Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith) have blazed their way across the View Askew-verse and are such iconic potheads that they even inspired their own stoner-superheroes in Chasing Amy in the form of Bluntman and Chronic.
3. Cheech Marin & Tommy Chong: Up in Smoke (1978)
The OG’s of cinematic stoners, Cheech & Chong are such incredible skonked icons, they’ve starred in seven weed smouldering movies together.
2. Floyd: True Romance (1993)
Dick Ritchie’s (Michael Rapaport) hapless, squalid roommate is played with impressive accuracy by Brad Pitt (Moneyball), who remains on the same couch for all of his scenes. Barely capable of stringing one single sentence together as and when the mob come looking for Clarence (Christian Slater) and Alabama (Patricia Arquette), he nonetheless is able to deliver the greatest, quietest, and sloppiest snipe to James Gandolfini’s character: “Don’t condescend me, man. I’ll fucking kill you, man.”
1. The Dude: The Big Lebowski (1998)
There will never be another stoner who can hit the same magnificent highs as what the Dude (Jeff Bridges) achieves in the Coen Brothers’ oft-quoted comedy. To the point where it feels almost mandatory to spend your dedicated haze-days in flip flops, stained underwear, and a dressing gown. Oh, and to top the day off with a refreshing White Russian, of course.
