The best (and worst) rom-com clichés to try out on your bae

Valentine’s is upon us: the season everyone loves to hate. Yes, it might be a grotesque consumerist holiday designed to make people feel awful and/or a celebration of something completely banal (wow, you’ve found someone who’s as petrified as you are of dying alone?), but sometimes you just wanna say, “Fuck it! I want a dozen red roses, a bed covered in silk and rose petals, and I wanna spend all night making out in the rain with my bae.”

So if you want to find the Harry to your Sally this Valentine’s, try out some of these rom-com cliches to see if they can spark as much emotion as they do on the big screen. Perhaps you’ll find the happily-ever-after you’re looking for . . . although realistically you’re probably just going to look like a dick in a wet t-shirt competition and potentially ruin a few friendships along the way. But hey, it’s all fun and games, right?

Make out in the rain (Four Weddings and a Funeral)

It’s raining? Like, torrential rain? And I’m wearing a white shirt? Oh, I hadn’t noticed!

Stupid? Yes, but in the name of rom-com folklore, it’s almost essential to turn your romantic meeting into the most unnecessarily inconvenient makeout session of all time. You’ll be dripping – and not in a good way.

Race through an airport as they’re about the leave (Love Actually)

In theory: A super cute way to declare your love. In reality: You’ll probably get arrested.

Make out with your best friend (Win a Date With Tad Hamilton)

This Valentine’s Day, grab your bestie and slip them the tongue, because sometimes the person you love is right in front of you . . . or you’re initiating what might be the salivary end to your friendship. Worth it? Meh, probably!

List everything you love about that person (When Harry Met Sally)

It really is that easy, guys! Even if your love interest despises you, just tell them you love how they take an hour and a half to order a sandwich and you’re at least got a shot.

Walk into a bookshop . . . any bookshop (Notting Hill)

Actually, the story goes that you need to own the bookshop and then [insert hot celebrity here] will walk in and fall for your devilish charms. But are you willing to open a bookstore in the name of love? Nope, thought not.

Go from a 2 to a 10 with a transformative makeover (She’s All That)

A.k.a. open out the ponytail and take off the glasses. Yes, it really is that easy!

Have a lonely montage (Clueless)

Lonely montages are pretty depressing – you’ll have to sit at a window and stare at the rain, listen to shitty records with your headphones on, and sob into your pillow while LeAnn Rimes blasts in the background. But, as the story goes, everything works itself out after that, so just suck it up and all will be cool.

Leave it up to fate (Serendipity)

Write your number on a one dollar bill, throw it into the wind, and leave it up to fate! You might just find the love of your life (or more likely just be one dollar short of a life).

Have unrealistic sex (No Strings Attached)

Awkward condom fittings need not apply here, because rom-com romps are sexy, sensual, and involve none of the pitfalls we regular mortals are made to endure. So if you get the chance, try having rom-com sex this Valentine’s and avoid the morning-after sweat & regret.*

Declare your love in the most over-the-top way ever (Friends With Benefits)

This one’s doubly funny if you do it to someone you don’t even know that well. What’s funnier than surprising Sharon from work with a love-fuelled flashmob in the middle of a city train station?**

*Editor’s note: rom-com sex isn’t a real thing and was made up for comedic effect. Film Daily does not endorse or promote unsafe sex.

** Film Daily is not responsible for you getting canned after such a lame-ass stunt.