86 Ghosted, a Story of a Jewish Filipina American Detroit Native
Roses were always so insincere. They came with “I love you,” “I’m sorry” and “get well soon.” Should Cal Garrison ever decide to retire from her spot as astrologer and “psychic medium”, would she look no further for her replacement than Vanessa Hudgens who revealed that she’s ready to step in and share her “gift?” Apparently, Hudgens channeled “The Devil” in her last “Holy Wood” flick. Given the amount of damning antisemitism this year and being a “hybrid” Filipina Jew myself, I am obliged to take the “leading role” on her “Dead Hot” circus show! Previously, Pia Wurtzbach posted her Ted talk where she spoke openly about her mental health struggles as a beauty queen. This is not a fairy tale. It’s not a Disney story. It’s not a Miss Universe propaganda campaign either—It’s my life. Here’s my crowning glory!
My own mental health journey started and finishes with the broken American mental health system. Having experienced family members and friends with mental disorders growing up, stigma, alienation and racial issues such as transgenerational trauma and the maladaptive behaviors I exhibited that followed suit landed me in legal troubles. I was involved in a statutory rape case that was published in the Detroit News and Free Press. Later, I was institutionalized at a facility in South West Utah that was intended for the rehabilitation of marginalized and troubled children—most of whom were ethnic minorities.
The case later led to the overdose and or possible suicide that occurred with one of the defendants who broke his probation. Another defendant who gave me a fictitious name fled Detroit and was arrested in several other states later returning to his native Mexico soon after he was indicted. He attempted to coerce me to leave the United States with him as a teenager.
On July 10, 2019, after a riot, increasing violence and sexual abuse allegations, the mental health facility I was institutionalized at in my adolescence, Red Rock Canyon School, shut down. Coincidentally it was also the same day I began practicing in the psychiatric specialty in Miami, Florida as a licensed PA-C.
One may wonder (I may be the only one) what I have learned after having been institutionalized in my youth to my experience as a psychiatric provider in the United States from criminality, drug abuse, fraud, media portrayal of victims and predators, sexual abuse and the mass violence that occurs in our society? It’s time for me to “come up trumps!”
Today, as a Jewish Filipina American Detroit native and seasoned resident living in the city of Miami Vice—I am essentially the girl who lives next door to the Versace mansion and I wish to channel a ghost of the half Filipino Italian man who killed multiple people prior to the infamous murder of Gianni Versace and his subsequent suicide.
An elephant never forgets. How often do we? “Lone actors” and mass murderers are more often assumed to be distinct, with little validity for comparison. Yet, both attempt to engage in highly publicized acts of violence and use similar weapons. Creativity is mine.
Follow my journey
@jsillysillaaa
