Tommy Shek – How to Make Your Relationship Pandemic-Proof During These Testing Times?
The worldwide outbreak of Covid-19 that occurred two years back has wholly redefined the people work and play today. They have found the need to work from home, reducing time spent in the office to minimize their exposure to other employees who may be a source of the infection or those at risk. Many people abandoned their hobbies or daily activities due to the drastic changes occurring during this pandemic. According to relationship therapists, while the pandemic had been a significant health concern, it adversely affected personal lives. Domestic violence and divorce cases among couples and marital partners snowballed.
The psychologists say that distractions or diversions allow people to focus on other areas of their lives, but the pandemic forced couples to stay together and spend a lot of time. As a result, there was no escape for anyone. Tommy Shek says that there is a need to pandemic-proof your relationship. Here are some tips in this regard.
Criticism
You are so controlling! If a relationship is new, it can be easy to make fallacious assumptions, especially when you feel like your partner is an undifferentiated part of your environment. Instead of casting aspersions on them, be specific about your complaint about the situation. For example – when X happened, I felt Y due to implicit assumptions about Z. This way, they will have a clear idea about what occurred and how best to refrain from repeating that behavior in future situations.
Defensiveness
Everyone makes mistakes, even you! You can prevent the fight before it starts. Step back from what you’re seeing and tell yourself about the situation, acknowledge your role in escalating emotions, and focus on your partner instead. When you argue with people over who is “right” and “wrong,” it gets you nowhere. So, it is better to take a step back, walk away from the argument if need be, then come back and connect with your partner over what they’re feeling before responding to anything they’ve said.
Contempt
Contempt often happens to be the main contributor to one’s divorce or dissatisfaction in a relationship. Experts say it is an intense form of disrespect expressed through aggressive sarcasm, facial contortion, or unfair criticism. If you feel contempt for your partner, step back from the problem and address issues when you’re both calm. It will make everything easier to deal with by not letting them get onto you and prevent the situation of hurling cutting remarks back at them that often leads to more resentment. Expressing appreciation and gratitude makes it easier for your partner to stay motivated. Your partner needs to know how much you appreciate them and care for them. When this happens, they can also reciprocate the feelings positively.
Remember, relationships tend to be two-way streets says Tommy Shek in his personal blog. But like in the case of the roadblocks, someone has to step up and clear the path. In this case, it can be you. Don’t wait for your partner to come and apologize. Instead, do positive things that help them open up and sort out the situation.
