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Few things scream “family bonding” like getting kidnapped by the Russian mob. In Sony’s upcoming feature The Machine (2023), that’s exactly what happens (more or less). Based on the viral story from comedian Bert Kreischer, The Machine chronicles his drunken trip to Russia during college. Twenty years later, that trip catches up to him when he and his estranged father Albert (Mark Hamill) are kidnapped due to something Bert allegedly did. So, caught in a battle with the crime family, Bert and his father retrace young Bert’s (Jimmy Tatro) steps, all while attempting to work on their relationship with each other. The Machine was written by Kevin Biegel (Cougar Town) and Scotty Landes (Ma), with Peter Atencio (Key and Peele) as the director. Bert Kreischer and his wife LeeAnn Kreischer produced the feature with Atencio, Judi Marmel, and Cale Boyter. It was executive produced by Jay Ashenfelter and Philip Waley. Alongside Bert Kreischer, Tatro, and Hamill, The Machine stars Iva Babič, Stephanie Kurtzuba, Jess Gabor, Martyn Ford, Mercedes De La Cruz, Robert Maaser, and Amelie Child Villiers.
If you’re planning to live vicariously through Bert Kreischer and his Russian adventures, we’ve compiled all current information on The Machine’s theatrical release date and showtimes, streaming debut, DVD release, and more. So Here’s when and how to watch The Machine, including its theatrical and streaming release date.
When Is the Release Date of The Machine?
The Machine will have a wide release beginning May 26, 2023. It shares a release date with a number of big hitters, including Disney’s live-action remake of The Little Mermaid starring Halle Bailey, Kandahar starring Gerard Butler, and About My Father starring Robert De Niro and Sebastian Maniscalco. Other movies playing in theaters during the same time frame include Fast X, Book Club: The Next Chapter, and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, among.
Where To Watch The Machine:
As of now, the only way to watch The Machine is to head out to a movie theater when it releases on Friday, May 26. You can find local shows on Fandango, IMAX, Regal, AMC Theatres, Cinemark, Cineplex, Landmark Theatres, Alamo Drafthouse and Harkins Theatres.
Watch Now: The Machine (2023) Full Movie Online Free
Otherwise, you’ll just have to wait for it to become available to rent or purchase on digital platforms like Amazon, Vudu, YouTube and Apple, or become available to stream on Netflix.
However, it will be available to stream on the Peacock platform soon. Netflix typically follows a 90-day period before its theatrical releases come to the streaming platform. That means we may see the live-action version of “The Machine” come to Netflix as early as August 2023.
Will The Machine Head to Streaming?
Currently, there is no projected streaming date for The Machine. However, it’s likely the movie will ultimately land on Netflix following its theatrical run, thanks to a multi-year streaming deal between Sony and Netflix. The deal officially began in 2022, giving Netflix licensing rights to stream upcoming Sony features, as well older titles from the Sony library. Additionally, Netflix is a fitting streaming home for The Machine, since Bert Kreischer has several stand-up comedy specials on Netflix, including the similarly named Bert Kreischer: The Machine.
Will The Machine Be On Netflix?
Yes, The Machine will eventually be on Netflix as a result of a deal inked between the streaming platform and the movie’s distributor, Sony Pictures. The deal gives the streamer U.S. rights to all the company’s theatrical films starting in 2022.
While a streaming release date has not yet been announced, we can make an estimate based on another recent Sony film. The Woman King was released in theaters on Sept. 16, 2022, before it came to Netflix on Feb. 16, 2023 — around five months after it debuted. If The Machine follows the same pattern, we could be watching from the comfort of our homes by mid-September 2023.
However, a digital release date should arrive much sooner. The Storm Reid-led thriller Missing was released in theaters on Jan. 20 before becoming available to purchase or rent on March 7 — about 45 days after its debut. By that logic, The Machine should come to digital by late May 2023.
Will The Machine Be On HBO Max?
No, The Machine will not be HBO Max since it’s not a Warner Bros. movie. In the meantime, you’ll just have to head out to a movie theater or wait for it to become available to stream on Netflix.
Is The Machine on Hulu?
We hate to tell you that ‘The Machine’ is not included in Hulu’s library. Alternatively, you can check out some other horror movies you might enjoy watching, such as ‘The Wretched‘ and ‘Agnes.’
Is The Machine on Amazon Prime?
No, Amazon Prime does not house ‘The Machine’ in its extensive content catalog. However, you can always tune into other alternatives the streaming giant offers, including ‘While We Sleep‘ and ‘The Assent.’
How to Watch The Machine Online?
Currently, ‘The Machine’ has been released exclusively in theaters, so you cannot watch the horror movie online, be it by streaming or purchasing. However, if your patience is running thin and you want an immersive experience, check show timings and book tickets on the movie’s official website and Fandango.
How to Watch The Machine Online For Free?
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There are a few ways to watch The Machine online in the U.S. You can use a streaming service such as Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime Video. You can also rent or buy the movie on iTunes or Google Play. You can also watch it on-demand or on a streaming app available on your TV or streaming device if you have cable.
Will The Machine Be Released on DVD and Blu-ray?
As with most films that debut in theaters, audiences can likely expect a physical format release of The Machine eventually. No specific on-sale dates for DVD or Blu-ray editions have been announced yet. Further information regarding physical release will potentially not be available until a few weeks following The Machine’s theatrical premiere. Additionally, should it also receive Digital and VOD releases, the physical formats will likely not happen until a few weeks after that.
Who’s In the Cast of The Machine?
Kreischer is very much the star of the show here, but being his first feature film, he’ll likely be happy to have a strong supporting cast join him. Fans of the stand-up comic were ecstatic to learn that Luke Skywalker himself, Mark Hamill (Star Wars), would be joining the project in a hysterical announcement video where Hamill was announcing his “top secret” project while Bert is drinking with his shirt off in the background. Hamill is reportedly playing an exaggerated version of Bert’s father, Albert Kreischer.
Iva Babic (The Last Serb in Croatia) will also have a major supporting role in the film and will be joined by Jimmy Tatro (American Vandal), Martyn Ford (F9: The Fast Saga), Jess Gabor (Shameless), Mercedes De La Cruz (Bates Motel), Robert Maaser (1917), Amelie Child Villiers (The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power), and Stephanie Kurtzuba (The Irishman).
What Exactly Is the Machine Story?
Obviously, Bert Kreischer is the one who tells this story the best and there are plenty of clips online of him telling the story if you want to hear it for yourself, but here’s a quick summary:
It all started when Kreischer randomly picked a Russian language class while attending college. According to him, the professor was desperate to keep students and was just giving out positive grades, and eventually planned a semester in Russia. The areas in which the classes were taking place were all locations controlled by various families of the Russian mob, so protection was hired in the form of paid-off mobsters. Kreischer unexpectedly formed a bond with the mobsters, saying the few words in Russian he actually knew, “I am the Machine”. And just like that, a legend was born. Eventually, Kreischer and the mobsters robbed virtually every person on a train ride one day, which is the catalyst for the events that occur in the film. Check out the video in the player above to hear the story in Kreischer’s own words.