10 terrible movies to watch when you’re high
Bad movies are boring, poorly produced and generally fail to enchant audiences. But, taken just a step further, some bad movies become something one loves to hate — utterly unique viewing experiences that bring joy, frustration and fun unlike anything a good film could generate.
Instead of getting high and watching the best cinema ever created, you should spend some time watching the worst of the worst. You might be surprised by the insights provided by a couple good buds.
The original 1936 propaganda film reads as remarkably absurdist today, especially amongst those who understand marijuana’s true effects. The characters smoking the devil’s weed in the film become aggressive and violent, experience hallucinations and ultimately go insane. If you want a more modern take on the same issue, you can look up the 2005 musical of the same name, which has several big-name stars in the cast list.
Manos: The Hands of Fate
When one man has a mission to make a horror movie all by himself, you get Manos: The Hands of Fate. The result is a long, rambling film with hardly a coherent plot, which falls far short of developing the terror the writer/director/producer/star intended.
Thanks to its appearance on “Mystery Science Theater 3000” — which you might enjoy watching more than just the movie itself — “Manos” has a cult following who loudly proclaim it is the worst film of all time.
So many Stephen King novels and short stories have gone on to become some of the best cinema of all time — but not Maximum Overdrive. Directed by the King of Horror himself, this film completely misses its dark and disturbing roots and becomes a campy, over-the-top flick that will almost certainly send you into laughing hysterics.
Interestingly, the soundtrack of the movie was entirely composed by AC/DC, so even if your weed-addled attention wavers, you’ll have some rad backing tracks to your high.
Howard the Duck
Initially, this movie was supposed to be animated, which makes sense considering its comic roots and duck main character. Yet, George Lucas made the insane decision to produce a live-action adaptation of the beloved Marvel comic series.
Despite an astonishing $38 million budget in 1986, the film suffers from all sorts of problems, from its less-than-uproarious writing to the emotionless, malfunctioning duck suit. You definitely need some marijuana from an Arkansas dispensary to make it through a viewing of Howard the Duck with a good attitude.
Masters of the Universe
When Ronald Reagan’s administration lifted regulations on children’s programming and merchandising, a rush of new TV shows with associated toy lines emerged.
Transformers was probably the most prolific, but it is hard to discount the popularity of He-Man and Masters of the Universe, which got its clamored-for film adaptation in 1987.
Notoriously, this film was consistently short on funds and time, so the end product is slapped-together and filled with hilarious plot holes and loose threads.
Super Mario Bros.
Your favorite fighting plumber brothers get together in this live-action adaptation of the beloved children’s video game series — which, like Howard the Duck, probably should have been animated. A $48 million budget went almost entirely to the best special effects of 1993, but the thin plot and poor writing caused the film to fall flat.
Still, the movie is jam-packed with ‘90s nostalgia, and you’ll appreciate seeing John Leguizamo, Dennis Hopper and other stars of your childhood recreating that 8-bit hero.
Mission: Impossible II
Released in the heart of the late-‘90s, early-‘00s action renaissance, M:I 2 should be the poster child for how action movies can go wrong. Bursting with motorcycle stunts and way too many slo-mo sequences which seem to take the place of actual plotting and pacing, this movie has the appropriate level of tension for someone who is terrifically high.
If the Mission: Impossible franchise isn’t hardcore enough for you, you should devote an evening to xXx, starring Vin Diesel. This movie unequivocally proves that you don’t need a stirring plot or good acting to make a film that f***s; all you need is some extreme stunts and intense music to keep viewers invested.
Even better, if your stoned brain can’t get enough Xander Cage, you can watch him in two sequels that are equally as bad as the first.
It might be physically impossible to assemble a list of bad movies without mentioning Tommy Wiseau’s The Room, which has moved beyond the status of cult classic and become a truly beloved bad film.
So terrible it seems intentional, this movie is high on melodrama and low on coherent characters and plot, lacking both awareness and self-consciousness of its poor quality. If you don’t want to sit through another viewing of The Room, you can treat yourself to The Disaster Artist, James Franco’s adaptation of the events surrounding the film’s creation.
The Wicker Man
Like so many Nicolas Cage vehicles, The Wicker Man is a serious film that is inadvertently hilarious thanks entirely to Cage’s insanely exaggerated acting. Ostensibly, the movie is in the horror genre, following a police officer searching for his lost daughter and getting wrapped up in a sinister cult.
You might replace the reputed drinking game with a 420-friendly option, like taking a hit instead of taking a sip. Just make sure you are watching the 2006 remake, not the original from the ‘70s.
There are so many bad movies, and so little time to enjoy them all. Fortunately, if you put one on every time you get high, you can thoroughly enjoy the entire catalogue of terrible cinema.