The Lizard People Conspiracy: Fact or Fiction?
There are probably a million conspiracy theories out there about the secretive ways in which the world works, and if you follow conspiracy theories at all you’ve most certainly heard of the lizard people. I was sitting around one Sunday basking in my evening routine of enjoying Lazarus Naturals CBD oil and mindlessly surfing the web when I came across a fascinating article about the lizard people.
I’ve never been big on conspiracy theories, but occasionally I will hear or read about one that intrigues me for whatever reason. The lizard people conspiracy happened to be just the thing. It resonated deeply with me.
Many people feel as though there is some looming, sinister presence that controls the world from behind closed doors. I never thought I was one of those people, but after doing a bit of research and having a questionable experience, I’m not so sure.
Where the lizard people came from
Lizard people are supposedly reptilian half humans that reside on earth as important political figures. Have you ever noticed that you’ve never met a politician yourself and if you have you haven’t been allowed to get close to them? And if you do get close to them they shake hands very much like a lizard?
I found these points both fascinating and convincing. If politicians are real people, how do they have so much money? Have you ever seen a politician sleep? No, because their lizard lives are kept very secret.
There is much speculation as to where the lizard people came from, but the leading theory is that they came from the other side of our flat earth through a volcano. While this seems a bit far fetched, with their incredibly resilient reptilian skin, it might just be possible!
Why are they here on Earth?
The lizard people aren’t here on earth to wreak havoc, they simply appreciate being in positions of power and want to enslave all of humans. These half human/half lizard creatures are here in peace and wished for enslavement that was free of violence. Well, they have accomplished their goal without us even realizing it. They have us humans believing that we want to work 10 hours a day, 5 days a week in exchange for food and housing.
They tricked us into thinking that by watering us and putting a roof over our heads that we were living free and pure lives. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you have a cow, you have to feed it, water it, and put a roof over its head. The difference is, you don’t tax them or try to trick a cow into thinking you’ve done something for them.
The cow also gets better health care and is probably more aware that it is owned. One of the things that makes the lizard people so cunning is that they can accomplish an incredible amount through manipulation instead of involving themselves in any direct physical action.
When time went black
As I continued to read about the lizard people, I started seeing flashes of a repressed memory. It was my childhood. I had my pet iguana iggy out on the sidewalk and we were playing in the hot summer sun. I fell asleep on the blistering sidewalk and started to cook alive.
Everything went black and I have no idea how long I was out. What I do remember is iggy the iguana climbing on top of me and scratching my face until I woke up. Iggy saved me that day and I have been indebted to lizards everywhere ever since.
I had somehow forgotten about iggy and the smell of myself burning on the sidewalk. I had forgotten about my eternal debt to lizards. I had forsaken the very spirit of iggy the iguana, and I was ready to make it right. I went to every pet store I could find and bought every lizard they had. 18 pet shops and $16k later, I found myself sitting in a Prius filled from floor to ceiling with domestic and exotic reptiles.
We were on our way to freedom and we could taste it in the air. I had never seen 300+ lizards so excited and it was contagious! I was finally making good on my promise to iggy and I was giving the little guys a chance to escape this terrible side of the planet and head down the volcano to evolve into politicians. We drove night and day, bribing border patrol and eating tacos all the way down to Panama.
Finally, we arrived at the base of the volcano. I didn’t want to be pushy, but I had driven a long way and was ready to get back home. I told the lizards I appreciated them and hugged them each goodbye as I tossed them into the volcano. Apparently a tour guide saw me helping the lizards and called the police. I spent 7 years in a Panamanian prison for that.
The final verdict
When it comes down to it, whether lizard people are real or not, you don’t want any part of it. Believe it or not, it makes no difference. If you go out and try to interact with lizard people or help them in any way, things are going to get crazy. It’s best to just avoid the whole situation and find something even remotely credible to spend your time pondering on.