The Worst Football Movies Ever Made
Super Bowl half-time shows, neck-breaking tackles, quarterback/coach relationships pushed to breaking point, cheerleaders, OJ Simpson; football should be tailor-made for the big screen and yet there are still some directors who’ve managed over the years to butcher the great game.
Here are some of the very worst movies ever made about the gridiron. Do you agree with our choices or do you think we’ve been overly harsh?
What is the worst movie about football that you have ever seen?
Keanu Reaves is undergoing something of a revival in Hollywood at the moment, with stories popping up everywhere of him doing good deeds for random members of the public. If you believe all this PR garbage that some agency has whipped together for the ailing star then perhaps you’re the sort of person who might have liked The Replacements.
This was a movie all about a bunch of reprobates who ignorantly cross a players’ strike picket line to boot lick their way to fortune and glory, while being depicted as innocent misfits. Gene Hackman was drafted in to try and salvage this train wreck, but even he couldn’t find a way to polish this turd, as the hastily-assembled team somehow defy the NFL odds to claim glory.
All these movies had people fleeing movie theaters on mass
Just as it’s hard to imagine Joe Burrow being able to do much to reverse the fortunes of the Bengals next season, it is also hard to imagine how Gus was given the green light by Disney.
This hell hole of a movie’s premise was that a coach, played by Don Knotts, would acquire the services of a Yugoslavian donkey who also happened to have a mean punt. To make things worse Knotts and his co-star Tim Conway almost never appear on screen together, making for a movie that stank as much as the donkey’s locker room.
Or maybe we’re wrong and the joke’s on us, and Joe Burrow can prove all the NFL betting tipsters wrong by taking Cinci to the Championship title. But we’re probably not wrong at all.
This is one of those movies that is so bad it’s funny and it may even be the case that Scott Bakula and Hector Elizondo realized this early on in the filming process and ran with it.
The premise is simple, bring a once great but now ailing quarterback in to try and turn around the worst college football team in the country. Add a super model as your place kicker and violent mascots and as we write this we actually find ourselves changing our minds. Maybe this is not so bad after all, as long as you are heavily sedated when you watch it.
Johnny Be Good
Where do we start with this monstrosity? A movie so bad that even the people who came up with the title just ripped it from Chuck Berry. Chuck can’t have been happy to see his song title sullied in this way, as Anthony Michael Hall took a stab at being a jock but failed because all he’d ever played before that was geeks.
Mix in Robert Downey Jr losing interest even before the opening credits have rolled and you got one of the most forgettable football movies ever made.
The Game Plan
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is the star of this movie and that’s all anyone should ever need to know about a movie to condemn it to the scrap heap. But say you didn’t do that, and say you then made the grave error of actually paying to watch The Game Plan, and you will know yourself – you poor soul – just what a pointless waste of oxygen this movie was, and is.
A star quarter-back finds out he’s a father, interrupting his playboy lifestyle. Hilarity could have ensued, but instead close to two hours of dire film making and even worse acting made this a picture destined for the meat grinder.